Kick Ass by Carl Hiaasen & Diane Stevenson

Author:Carl Hiaasen & Diane Stevenson [Hiaasen, Carl & Stevenson, Diane]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Essays, Political Science
ISBN: 9780813034294
Google: 5y-pPwAACAAJ
Amazon: 0813034299
Publisher: University Press of Florida
Published: 2009-09-13T05:00:00+00:00

Ferre also owes voters an explanation

April II, 1993

Tales from the crypt: Maurice Ferre is back.

He is risen from the land of political losers to run for Metro Commission. Lucky for him, there’s no law against deadbeats holding elected office in Florida.

If bad debts were pit bulls, the former Miami mayor would have lost his most crucial appendages a long time ago. No one but Ferre knows precisely how much he owes, because he conveniently neglected to report it on his campaign disclosure form, as required by the state.

Ferre is no stranger to noncompliance. When he launched this most recent campaign, he still owed $65,000 of a $70,000 fine for campaign-law violations dating to 1981. The debt recently was trimmed to $62,000 after Ferre kicked in a whopping $3,000 of his wife’s dough.

He hasn’t taken the fine too seriously, and for good reason. In 1983, the Dade state attorney sued for the money, but soon gave up the hunt. Janet Reno says she put the case aside because her investigators couldn’t find any funds listed in the ex-mayor’s name. Everything had been transferred to Ferre’s wife, Mercedes.

Ferre says he did it when the family concrete business, Maule Industries, went belly up in the late 19705. At the time, the company’s liabilities were reported at $23 million. Knowing creditors would be looking for him, Ferre basically gave all assets to his wife—an old dodger’s trick, and a legal one.

It wouldn’t even be noteworthy if Ferre was some private schlump who’d botched up a few business deals. He’s more than that. He’s running for a Metro Commission seat that will put him within lunging distance of a combined $3 billion budget.

It’s perfectly proper for voters to demand details of a candidate’s finances, no matter how muddled. A man who can’t balance his own checkbook, and doesn’t pay his debts, is a poor choice for handling taxpayer dollars. Ferre’s wife, in fact, would seem a more sensible selection.

The ex-mayor solemnly claims to have no assets. He describes himself as an international businessman, but insists he’s earned no money—not a dime—since Maule dissolved about 15 years ago. So what’s he been up to?

He travels regularly to Puerto Rico and Latin America, where he supposedly assembles complicated mega-deals for other companies. Are we to believe he does it just for the sport? “I put deals together,” Ferre explained to a reporter, “and will be paid in the future.” What a curious arrangement.

In the meantime, he enjoys a “very nice lifestyle” supported by a “very substantial income” from his wife’s family holdings. This, while continuing to stiff the good citizens of Florida for $62,000.

If Mercedes Ferre doesn’t wish to cover the balance of her husband’s court-ordered fine, that’s her business. But it’s hard to understand why Ferre himself has made no serious effort to make good on the debt. He’s a bright, able-bodied, well-spoken fellow. Why doesn’t he get a paying job?

By now, he could have settled the entire matter for a measly six grand a year. Bagboys at Publix do better than that.

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