January First: A Child's Descent Into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her by Michael Schofield

Author:Michael Schofield
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Non-Fiction, Psychology, Biography
ISBN: 9780307719089
Publisher: Crown
Published: 2012-08-07T00:00:00+00:00

Once Janni is handed over to us, there is no more time for fighting. The focus is back to Janni. The simmering anger between Susan and me must be pushed down.

After completing the discharge from Loma Linda, we go to the nearby Red Lobster to celebrate Janni’s homecoming. Not that it feels anything like a celebration, but rather like trying to eat in the trenches of World War I, never knowing when the shelling is going to start again.

Susan sits across from me. Bodhi, in his car seat, sits in a sling at the edge of the table. Janni chooses to sit next to me like she usually does, although “sitting” is a stretch. She is bouncing around, standing up on the booth seat to look for her food. Every time I tell her to get down, she does, only to pick up an object like the saltshaker, preparing to throw it.

“Janni, if you throw that, we are leaving right now,” I say, already trying to make the transition to “tough parent,” which doesn’t come easy to me. What I really want is to have a nice, peaceful dinner. Usually, in restaurants, I have to work constantly to engage her in something while we wait for the food, but not tonight. Tonight she’s going to have to wait.

Janni looks at me, trying to decide if I am serious. I give her a look that I am and she puts the saltshaker down. “But I’m hungry!”

“That’s no excuse for throwing something,” I reply.

“But I’m hungry,” Janni says again as if this explains it. “The food is taking soooo long!”

The fact that the waitress only took our order five minutes ago and that a certain amount of time is needed to prepare it means nothing to Janni.

“Then have a biscuit.” I offer her one.

“No.”

“Then you aren’t that hungry.”

“I was a picky eater,” Susan says.

I glare at her. She’s not helping. If this is going to work, we need to be a united front. Janni can’t think one parent will give in when the other won’t. These are actually the first words Susan has spoken to me since we left Loma Linda.

The waitress brings cheese sticks and Janni grabs one.

“They’re going to be hot,” I tell Janni.

Janni ignores me, takes a bite, and then immediately opens her mouth and lets the half-chewed cheese stick fall from her mouth onto the floor under the booth.

“Hot!” Janni complains.

I sigh irritably. “I told you they’d be hot. You need to give them a few minutes to cool.”

Instead of waiting, Janni picks up another cheese stick, bites into it, and spits the pieces back out.

“Janni, I said to wait!”

“But I’m hungry!” she whines.

“What good is trying to eat them if they’re too hot? Just give them a minute to cool.”

Janni picks up yet another cheese stick, puts it in her mouth, complains it’s too hot, and spits it out.

“Janni,” I say, exasperated by her inability to wait for anything. “You’re wasting them!”

Janni abruptly slips underneath the booth and down onto the floor.

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