It's Not Me, It's You by John Kim

Author:John Kim
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-09-06T00:00:00+00:00

Fast Elbows

Okay, let’s get to it. The topic of communication is vague and vast. There are so many angles and ways into the “how” of it. And we aren’t going to solve all of your communication issues in just one chapter of this one book. A good way to approach it is like Olympic weightlifting.

Weightlifting is precision based. One small tweak in movement can affect the entire lift. So if you give an athlete too many instructions, she will do nothing. You have to give her one specific note at a time. For example, “fast elbows.” That’s when you solely focus on whipping your elbows under the bar as fast as you can to catch a power clean. If she focuses on this one instruction, executing it will most likely align her feet and her hips and correct other parts of her movement naturally. If you instead give her multiple instructions, like “move your feet wider,” “have fast elbows,” “pull sooner,” and “look straight ahead,” she will most likely do none of these things. It’s too much to take in at one time. It’s overwhelming. Learning how to communicate better is the same. Results come faster by focusing on a few things rather than trying to do or change too many at once.

Here are our three “fast elbows” notes for communication. These are the instructions that we feel have helped not only our clients but also our own relationship. We believe that if you focus on these three notes, things will start to align. You will be a better communicator, and your relationship will have more protein, the building blocks for growth.

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