Introduction to Crisis and Trauma Counseling by Thelma Duffey & shane Haberstroh

Author:Thelma Duffey & shane Haberstroh [Duffey, Thelma & Haberstroh, shane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781119685135
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2020-04-09T05:00:00+00:00

The Relational Foundation: Childhood Abuse, Neglect, and Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs)

In the span of 30 minutes, everything changed, forever. Esteban woke early on a weekday morning during summer break. Seventh grade was right around the corner, and the late July days brought sunshine, warm breezes, and new freedoms. Esteban explored his new neighborhood, riding his bike through winding wooded trails and suburban landscapes. This new place was a far cry from the impoverished and dangerous neighborhood where he lived for years following his parent’s divorce. When he was 5 years old, his parents told him they were divorcing and it “wasn’t his fault,” which felt extra confusing to hear. His parent’s marriage was often punctuated with loud arguments and probable physical altercations. Esteban would hear yelling and crashes as he fell asleep each night, dreading alone time with his father.

When he and his father would be home alone, his dad would torment him like a cruel older sibling. His father hunted Esteban throughout house, welting and bruising him with his high-powered paint gun, and when catching him, he would pin him down and tickle him painfully until near suffocation. Suffering from a history of near-fatal asthma attacks requiring multiple hospitalizations, these moments terrified Esteban. The sadistic glee in his father’s face etched into his memory. This was play time with his father.

A few months preceding the divorce, Esteban’s father took him up to the roof and chased him around, pelting him with tar-soaked stones. One of Esteban’s most vivid memories of his childhood was the image of a rock slamming into his right eye, exploding into a starburst of misery. As he dropped to his knees, he briefly saw the scared look on his father’s face. Maybe this time he had gone too far. Esteban cried out with a wounded guttural wail, buried his head in his hands, and curled into himself for protection. His right eye was damaged for life. The memory of his father’s face, shocked and scared, was strangely soothing to Esteban. Maybe he mattered a little bit.

Now, far away in his new home, life seemed full of new possibilities. His family felt stable. His stepfather was loving and supportive. Moreover, he was making new friends. One of the older teenage boys, J.R., began spending time with Esteban, which inspired a newfound kind of pride. On this sunny July morning, they met up at the fort they built together. As Esteban got off his bicycle, J.R. tackled Esteban from behind, slammed him to the ground, flipped him over, and pinned him down, knees on his shoulders. J.R. was 50 pounds heavier than Esteban and muscular. There was little hope for escape.

J.R. pulled a large hunting knife from his back pocket and pressed the tip to Esteban’s throat. “Keep me from killing you,” J.R. instructed as he applied increasing pressure on the knife. Esteban was shocked and terrified, and he pressed both hands against the blade, feeling the cold tip bear down with even more force. This was not playful teasing.

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