In a Single Moment by Imogen Clark

Author:Imogen Clark [Clark, Imogen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-11-08T16:00:00+00:00

40

It was the week before Christmas but Michelle’s tree was still conspicuous by its absence. Donna had been nagging at her to put it up for at least a week but Michelle had been making excuses. She didn’t have time to get the box down from the loft. She needed to get some new lights because didn’t the old ones give up last year? And wasn’t it so much more Christmassy to put the tree up nearer to the big day?

None of it was true. Michelle just couldn’t face the forced cheerfulness that the decorations required. You were either feeling it or you weren’t. This year she definitely wasn’t.

It was at times like this that Michelle really missed Dean. Christmas was difficult enough now that the kids were grown and the day had no real focus, but the prospect of facing it without a companion made her want to close the door against the world and hibernate until it was all over. Although Tina and Donna and probably Damien would be there, it just wasn’t the same as having a proper family do with them all crowded round a groaning table.

Christmas had been different when the kids were young. Michelle had loved all that sneaking back from town with bags stuffed with whatever Santa had been begged for. There hadn’t been that much money, especially once Donna came along, and she and Dean had had to be creative. It was rare that the actual requested toy could be afforded, but they could generally come up with something that would fit the bill, either from the market or one of Dean’s mates who had a knack for acquiring just what was needed.

Then, the presents smuggled into the house and hidden as well as was possible in such a tiny space, Michelle and Dean would crack open some tins and, when they’d drunk enough, they’d dance in the front room to Christmas songs. They made proper Christmas songs back then, Michelle thought wistfully, ones you could really let your hair down to.

Dean had his new life now. Michelle had worried that when he left her, he would fall straight into the arms of Linda from next door but one. In some moments, the thought of Linda’s smugness at finally having got her man was almost worse than the pain of Dean’s departure. Michelle suspected that the pair of them had had their moment, but it hadn’t worked out, which was the main thing – or at least, not long enough for Linda to take any pleasure at her expense.

In fact, Dean now lived in a different part of the city, shacked up with his new girlfriend. There was talk of them trying for a baby according to Tina, and this had wounded Michelle almost as deeply as the fact that he had gone. He already had four children. His real children. What was he doing thinking about having more? Michelle knew that she was still young enough to have another baby if she wanted, but she really didn’t.

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