I'm 30 Now What by Ky-Lee Hanson

Author:Ky-Lee Hanson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Golden Brick Road Publishing House Inc.

REBIRTH

Eventually, after countless counseling sessions, many conversations with trusted friends, and a new-found love for tackling life’s ups and downs with fitness, my fog began to lift. I started to see the world a little bit clearer, and my world began to slowly stop spinning. The hope for normalcy in my heart began to rise. I was ever so slowly awakening with a fresh, new perspective on life, love, and the pursuit of my own kind of happiness.

Maybe someday I will find the kind of love they make movies about. That would be awesome! Or, maybe I won’t. And that’s okay, too. I’ve deleted my “Dream Wedding” Pinterest board and replaced it with my “Dream Life” board. I’ve given myself permission to step into living the life that is buzzing all around me, and take the opportunity to define my own version of happily ever after. What if I dropped the heavy load I had grown accustomed to carrying and extended forgiveness to the one who hurt me? What if instead of putting my energy into accomplishing unspoken pressures of a “successful life,” I just started to live my actual life - you know, the one I was living, right here and right now - and what if I showed up unapologetically? What if I said, “I’m ready to receive what’s in store for my life.” That has recently become the anthem of my heart.

What Now?

I am alive.

I am here.

I am awake.

I am ready.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

Okay, since you asked, here are my answers, Mary. I plan to continue to show up for my own life and make memories whether I arrive solo, or accompanied. I will allow myself to “feel the feels” when there is a void or a longing, but will not let it consume me. And instead, I will relish on the blessings that abound all around. I will celebrate success by my own definition. I plan to live, keeping my eyes wide open in expectation and anticipation as my life unfolds in front of me. You will see me continue to do the work to uncover the hopes and dreams that were placed in my heart from the beginning of time; stripped of any expectations from outside sources. I’ll continue to pack my suitcase and explore life’s playground, with or without the built-in travel companion I thought was a prerequisite. I will repeatedly get back up when life knocks me down because maybe, just maybe, life is supposed to be less about avoiding the bruises, but collecting the scars to prove you actually showed up for it. I will remind myself as many times as I need to that life is a gift - because I know what it feels like to be dead before I have been buried, but I also know what it feels like to have breath come back into my dead, dry bones.

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