I Can Mend Your Broken Heart by Hugh Willbourn

Author:Hugh Willbourn
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781473544161
Publisher: Transworld

SETTING LIMITS

If you decide you need to set some limits on what you should do for your ex, here are three useful hints.

1 Firstly, write down how much you will do and when you will stop. Doing this helps you to clarify exactly what you are prepared to do. It also helps to imprint it more firmly in your memory. You are more likely to remember and stick to decisions you write down than ones you only make in your head.

2 Secondly, stick to your plan, even if after you’ve made it you don’t feel pressurized any more. When someone senses their old tactics are not working, they often change and try something else. If they were using emotional blackmail, they might suddenly start being super-reasonable and then ask for something so nicely that you are tempted to go along with it. Don’t. Don’t get suckered into helping out again just because they behave differently. Stick to your plan for at least a month before you even think of reviewing it.

3 Thirdly, don’t explain yourself. Just do what you think is reasonable and no more. Whenever any relationship has become difficult and manipulative, explanations only open the door to arguments, discussions and more complications. We will see more examples of this below. In the meantime, stick to your plan, do what you are prepared to do, don’t get drawn into discussions, be polite and then leave.

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