I am so over being a Loser by Jim Smith

Author:Jim Smith [Smith, Jim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781780313795
Publisher: Egmont

I don’t know why Nancy thought my plan was so unkeel, because hers was exactoid the same except a billimetre better.

‘Take a deep breath!’ she giggled, squishing me into the cardboard box she’d got from her loft. We’d cut a hole in the front for my massive nose to stick out, and two in the bottom for my legs.

In the corner Nancy had stuck millions of her spare stamps, and underneath she’d scribbled, ‘the ski dome’. On the top in big capitals it said, ‘CONTENTS: LOSER’.

‘I can’t see!’ I snortled, wobbling down the street towards the postbox.

‘Watch out for the dog poo,’ said Nancy, and I thought how Bunky would probably make me walk straight into it. ‘The postman comes in ten minutes,’ she said as I lowered myself down next to the postbox.

I twitched my nose twice, which meant ‘OK’, even though I could’ve just said the word out loud. ‘Good luck!’ she whispered, and I heard her little feet walk off.

Then I was alone.

You know when you’re sitting in a pitch-black cardboard box all by yourself in the middle of the street and it’s completely boring? That’s what was happening to me when I heard something snuffling.

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