I Always Think It's Forever by Timothy Goodman

Author:Timothy Goodman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: S&S/Simon Element
Published: 2023-01-30T00:00:00+00:00

We sat together at a bar, and got to know each other a little, but little did we know we would kiss in a little while. As we walked along the Seine at 2 AM, we laughed at the drunk guys who jumped in. Neither of us knew that our summer would become consumed. Our lives. Our bond. Our fun. We became our moon and our sun. But after I went back to NYC, we both felt too far away. Her bones didn’t feel it all the way. My lips didn’t have the words to say. So, we tried to mask the hurt. Two people who loved each other, just not enough to make it work. After a couple months away, I woke up in an empty room in Rome on New Year’s Day. She left that morning after we decided to part ways. We met there the day before because we were struggling to become something more than another failed long-distance song and dance. We had hopes that we could turn our summer romance into another chance. I guess walking around different European cities together wasn’t the best plan. It took just 36 hours to throw in the towel. So, I threw the covers on the floor and covered up my face, took a deep breath, and felt that empty hole deep in my chest. I couldn’t even get dressed, but I wanted to change everything, I wanted to know if she really meant something. Did I have the means to say what was meaningful? Would I give every cent I had to make sense of all that? How was I gonna pay the balance on my broken heart, and why couldn’t I hear my therapist telling me it wasn’t my fault? How was I gonna break this constant cycle? How could I cycle through my overwhelming thoughts thoughtfully? Could I admit how much it really hurt me? Could I face the facts, no FaceTimes and texts, just face-to-face at face value without saving face? And in the end, I threw her face wash away. I deleted her off my phone’s faves. I pretended everything was okay, but I still wouldn’t wash the shirt I wore the day we finally walked away. The memories wouldn’t wash away. I still thought about her every day. It was just the beginning of another sad love story to roll your eyes at today.

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