How to Write Comforting Letters to the Bereaved by John D. Haley

Author:John D. Haley
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Taylor and Francis
Published: 2002-02-19T16:00:00+00:00

How Do I Talk About Faith?

Now we’re on hallowed ground, so to speak. Discussing faith with a bereaved person is the best thing you can do. Or the worst.

Adapting to the death of a loved one inherently taps soul-deep places within us. When grounded in a trusting rapport and expressed with humble conviction, sharing your spiritual perspective can swaddle the reader at a time when he or she most needs the embrace of the Divine. However, caution looms nearby when religious expressions are forced, patronizing, or condemning. If this happens, the attempt easily contaminates much of the goodwill otherwise rendered in your letter.

So, let’s look at three ways of handling this matter.

First, if you have a conspicuously religious relationship with the reader (formally or informally), giving voice to the power, perspective, and restorative capacity of your faith is a natural extension of your bonds. If the recipient and you have had similar spiritual walks—or even different walks but accepted by one another—go ahead and share images or scriptures that have meaning for you; they have a good chance of being meaningful to your reader. Passages that you already know were particularly favored by the deceased (or the reader) present excellent starting points.

The following passages may help get you going.

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