How to Be a Kosovan Bride by Naomi Hamill

Author:Naomi Hamill
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Salt Publishing Limited
Published: 2017-08-14T09:39:41+00:00

The Girlfriend

I tried to come to you. I tried to see you before we had to go. I tried to untangle myself from my family and the planning and the worries and the packing. But I could not; it was too dangerous; I might have been seen and the soldiers are merciless these days.

Sometimes it feels like death would be better than leaving you, but that is foolishness and just the terrible thinking that this situation has driven me to. But I cannot bear to leave you. I cannot bear to leave you, darling.

We are all fleeing, just like every other family in this town. There are so many rumours about what will happen to us if we stay. They drip like poison into my mind.

It isn’t safe and, even though I don’t want to leave you like this, I have to go. I do not blame you at all for this. Please know that I love you with my whole heart and know that I do not blame you at all. I know you wish us peace. I know you wish us love.

I want to go back to how things were. Before this nightmare descended. Before our love was impossible and before people told us who we could and couldn’t share a coffee or a joke or a feeling with. There is so much rage in people’s hearts, so much anxiety, there is violence I didn’t know existed – how can anything ever be the same?

I will pray for the day when I can once again see your face. I will refuse to say goodbye to you and I will refuse to let them decide that we cannot have a future. I hope that one day we can make plans again, the plans that are so precious to our hearts. Be safe, my love.

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