Hear & Beyond by Shari Eberts & Gael Hannan

Author:Shari Eberts & Gael Hannan [Eberts, Shari & Hannan, Gael]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography / People with Disabilities, Health & Fitness / Health Care Issues, Health & Fitness / Hearing & Speech, Self-Help / Communication & Social Skills
Publisher: Shari Eberts
Published: 2022-05-03T00:00:00+00:00

Don’t Accept Dismissal

It happens sometimes. A friend or colleague is telling a funny story or explaining an event that happened, and at some point Shari asks, “What did you say?” She got the beginning but missed a segment along the way and needs clarification. The speaker pauses, as if to think about the question, and replies, “Never mind.” Usually, this is accompanied by a dismissive wave of the hand or shake of the head or both. Ouch, that hurts.

Never mind is a dismissal and an insult. So are forget it, it’s not important, and don’t worry about it. These responses say that the listener is not important enough to the speaker for them to repeat themselves. When people with hearing loss hear this, we may react angrily, or we may simply tune out. It may also be the end of our interactions with that person.

When it is perceived as a rejection, this dismissal of hearing loss needs can also lead to social isolation. Giving up the effort to assert your needs may seem better than being publicly dismissed or shamed but could also start a downward emotional spiral. A more effective approach is to help people understand how hurtful their statement is to you.

If someone tells you “never mind,” respond with, “Please, I really would like to hear what you have to say.” Saying no to that is a challenge, and your assertiveness will show that dismissal is not an option. Quite often, the person honestly believes that their original comment is not worth repeating, but you want to be the judge of that.

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