Happy Days by Gabrielle Bernstein

Author:Gabrielle Bernstein [Gabrielle Bernstein]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2021-11-25T00:00:00+00:00

Use this prayer to anchor you back into the energy of love as you explore the methods outlined below.

Practice awareness

Shame is a pervasive feeling that we cannot avoid, but it can be reprocessed and transformed through techniques that interrupt the pattern. The first step to healing shame is to witness it. In your journal, identify which of the five shame responses—attacking others, attacking yourself, denying, fawning, or withdrawing—you most commonly use. Then, throughout the next few days, lovingly and compassionately notice when something triggers you into one of those responses. Since you’ve already identified your triggers and their underlying emotions, this exercise is about looking more closely at which of those emotions are disguising shame, such as fear of rejection, feeling unsafe, or feeling unworthy, unlovable, or inadequate. Some common beliefs tied to shame can be I’m useless, I’m a failure, I don’t deserve anything good, and on and on. Your willingness to recognize the patterns and be inquisitive about shame is an act of self-respect. You cannot heal what you’re unwilling to see.

Even though I couldn’t recognize or admit the shame at first, I would commonly say, “No one can take care of me. I have to fix it all myself.” Recognizing my two most common shame responses helped me see how the feeling of being out of control triggered childhood memories of being neglected and expected to take care of myself. Unpacking this pattern further, I noticed that when I felt out of control I also felt helpless and unsafe—but ashamed that I couldn’t do anything about it.

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