Greenland by David Santos Donaldson

Author:David Santos Donaldson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-04-26T00:00:00+00:00

A Gun Because He Loved Me

A couple of months later, when the novelty of dating a cop began to lose its charm, I realized Gus was deadly boring. His plainspoken eloquence had impressed me on the first night, but I soon discovered he had nothing much else to say. Not only did he never read anything, not even a tabloid newspaper, nor did he like any of the same movies I did, or have any hobbies to speak of, but he also never ate anything except Greek diner food, which he insisted I also eat whenever we dined out. The moussaka was good but got tiring after the umpteenth time. But most of all, Gus was extremely boring in bed. He just sort of lay there, silently quivering, like a lamb ready to be sacrificed. And yet, although he seemed passive to the extreme, he always managed to rouse himself enough to stop me from finally penetrating him. “No, no, no,” he’d say, smiling slyly and wagging a finger. “Gotta save that for our wedding day, babe.”

The first time he said it, I laughed. But I soon realized he was serious. Gus was comporting himself like a good Greek girl, saving himself for the nuptials.

He was a kind person, that was clear. He loved his family. But he wasn’t out as gay to them, he said. They still expected him to spend Sunday dinners at home, where he’d often be subjected to meeting a nice Greek girl he was being set up with. He never complained about it. He even joked that one day he might take his parents up on one of these girls. He loved to tease me with this, warning me, “So, babe, you better treat me right, or else . . .” Gus—so sweet, so boring.

Just about two months into our dating, I was coming to the conclusion that Gus and I were not a great match. Being sweet was not enough. I needed someone who shared my interests and cultural references, who, at least, let me fuck him. But I had been unable to break the bad news to Gus. He was so damned good to me, and he was completely wrapped up in his fantasy of our lives when we would finally marry.

“So, babe,” he said one evening at the Waverly Diner while we waited for our “usual”—two Greek salads and moussakas—“I really see a future for us, you know. You’re my guy, Kip. I know it.” He reached over and held my hands over the table. In Queens, Gus was totally closeted, but once he crossed the river to Manhattan, he was a liberated gay man. “I can see us together forever. You know what I mean? We could buy a house out on Long Island, and maybe adopt kids. You like kids, right? I bet you’d be able to teach our kids all the cultured stuff you teach me—about books and movies. Our kids wouldn’t be numbskulls like me!” Gus laughed and I laughed too.

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