Ghost Bus--Tales from Wellington's Dark Side by Anna Kirtlan

Author:Anna Kirtlan [Mittelstädt, Jana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Anna Kirtlan
Published: 2020-05-26T00:00:00+00:00

***

If you told me a couple of months ago that I would be paying nightly visits to the aquarium to whisper sweet nothings to a key in a jar, I would have told you to lay off the weed. Yet here I am. The scary thing is, it actually seemed to be working. We tested Kim’s theory last night when James returned to work.

“How’s the war wound?” I asked, gesturing towards his bandaged finger.

“Not bad. They couldn’t fix the nerves but they can make it look a bit more like a finger. They are going to graft some skin from my butt. Guess that will remind me not to be such a butthead about things I don’t understand.”

I smiled, glad he’d managed to keep a sense of humour. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Don’t worry. I plan to keep my hands to myself.”

“Okay then,” I said, nervously leading him towards the tank. He walked right up to the glass and – nothing. No reaction. The key-fish barely raised itself from the bottom.

James raised his eyebrows. “Hey! Key thing! I love my boyfriend!” he yelled, taking a step back.

A little waggle, but otherwise nothing.

Kim walked up to the tank, nervously playing with her wedding ring. The key showed no interest in her whatsoever.

“It worked!” she said, grinning and hugging me. I couldn’t help smiling as well, scarcely believing it myself.

The next part of the plan was for me to catch another key (goody) and see what happened when we put it in the tank with its newly chilled-out mate. Kim’s hope was that they’d somehow communicate and, if I could talk enough of them out of their homicidal rage, they might calm down the rest of the pack. School? Bunch? I don’t know what the collective noun is for a bunch of angry sentient keys, do you?

“So, catch and release?” I asked Kim.

“Something like that,” she said with a smile.

I don’t know if it will work, but it’s all we’ve got right now. This is going to take a long time and we can’t guarantee how many we’ll be able to round up. So, if you are loved up and fancy going for a dip this summer, and you don’t want to end up with a butt-skin graft or worse, might I suggest giving the waterfront a miss for a while. Particularly, a certain bridge.

And if you absolutely must do the padlock thing, a quick thank you to a key is not much to ask in return for keeping your limbs.

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