Fontana by Joshua Martino

Author:Joshua Martino [Martino, Joshua]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781602827165
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books, Inc.
Published: 2012-07-01T00:00:00+00:00

*

I never thought I would see Eusebio Hernandez again, but there he was. It was my second day of interviews with Peter Morgenstern. Peter and I were in the kitchen of his Williamsburg apartment, each of us searching a bag of sweeteners nabbed from coffee shops for our preferred brand. Then Seb wandered into the kitchen. Sleep drooped his eyelids. He wore only boxer shorts and a slim tank top.

“What do you want, honey?” Peter asked.

“Lighter,” Seb croaked. He was twiddling an unlit cigarette. He did not greet me. He stared past me as if I didn’t exist.

Peter fished a lighter from a drawer and tossed it to Seb, who wrapped himself in a coat by the door and stepped out to the stoop where Ricky and Peter had shared their fateful kiss.

That Seb didn’t acknowledge me was, of course, unsurprising and not worth pursuing with Peter. I had tried to contact Seb several times, but my calls went unanswered. His agent explained that Seb was understandably furious with me. After Peter convinced him that the two of them would have more control over Ricky’s story if they spoke to me—and assured Seb that I was, against all common sense, sympathetic to Ricky’s cause—Seb agreed to a short interview after New Year’s Day.

But two weeks earlier, he wouldn’t even offer me a glance. So I said to Peter, “It’s nice that you have someone to comfort you now that Ricky’s gone. A good friend of Ricky’s, I imagine.”

“Seb was probably Ricky’s closest friend, actually. He took a much more commonsense approach to his sexuality, really. He announced to the team he was gay and accepted that some of them wouldn’t care and others wouldn’t have anything to do with him. Rumors got around, of course, so most ballplayers knew about Seb, and Ricky sort of looked at him like a big brother. Ricky wouldn’t mind that we’re hooking up.”

“You and Seb?”

Peter nodded.

“Really?” I asked. And then like a little kid, “Gee…”

Peter didn’t discuss it further, and I didn’t press him. I didn’t want to pry further into the personal business of the man whose life I had already made so difficult.

“Why didn’t Ricky just come out?” I asked.

“I asked him the very same thing,” Peter said. “It would’ve been so much easier if he did it on his own terms.”

“During the off-season when nobody’s paying attention, yes, it would have been discussed all winter while Ricky could hide from the spotlight. So why did he keep the secret?”

Peter asked, “Do you know any gay men besides me and besides Ricky?”

I remembered Bobby McNamara, my freshman roommate, so I said with certainty, “Yes, of course.”

As he placed a mug of coffee near me, he asked, “And are you frightened of us? Have you ever been?”

I recalled one day when Bobby McNamara returned to our dorm room after class. I was reading on my bed in only boxer shorts. He greeted me, sat at his desk, and opened a textbook. All of

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