Fifty Bales of Hay by Roger Evans

Author:Roger Evans [Roger Evans]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781910723364
Google: dK7PnQAACAAJ
Publisher: Merlin Unwin Books Limited
Published: 2016-11-15T23:23:26.716970+00:00

There’s a lady of my acquaintance who comes in the pub about once a week. Had a bad back, this lady, for several weeks now. She tells me about this bad back every time we see her. Not getting better at all, her back. But help is at hand. A builder who comes in regularly tells us that he often has back problems. Just when we, the rest of us, think we are about to be regaled with bad back stories all evening, he tells the lady that he has a wide body belt that he wears whenever he is thus afflicted and that seems to do the trick every time.

They arrange that she should borrow it, which she does. And it seems to be helping her. Now the only discussion we have is whether she should wear it over her thermal vest or under it. Which some people seem to find quite interesting.

Her husband comes in limping Tuesday night. He tells us a big oak tree has blown down in the gales and he was walking along the trunk cutting the boughs off when he fell off and the chainsaw fell on top of him. Some people think this serves him right because he’s always bragging that he has the biggest chainsaw in the parish. He’s hurt his back as well as his leg so we recommend that he use the body belt as well as his wife. But there’s only one belt so it is suggested that when they go to bed, they put the body belt around the two of them. Everyone is quite taken with this idea. Especially as his wife is quite a bit larger than he is. It is suggested that he would be wriggling about like a little lamb that has just had a rubber ring put on its tail. Not a place for sympathy, the pub.

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