Feral Creatures of Suburbia: A Novel by D. Liebhart

Author:D. Liebhart [Liebhart, D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: 9:25 Books
Published: 2024-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 19

Varvara

Varvara and David don’t talk on the drive home from the hospital and Varvara’s glad. She doesn’t want to talk anymore. They’ve done enough of that. They talked on the car ride home last night, each reassuring the other that leaving Myra at the hospital was the only thing they could do, while at the same time not believing it. Then, this morning when she got up and got ready for work, they did it again, went in circles with the same things over and over, reassuring each other that it was the only way to be sure Myra was safe. Varvara considered not going in but how else was she going to pass the time, waiting for the one hour she was allowed to see her child, except to go to work and pretend that this wasn’t happening? That her daughter hadn’t written a suicide note and stolen pills to kill herself.

Varvara pulls out her phone and texts Jackie. “You guys will have to get April to school without us this week. Myra’s going to be out.” A few seconds later Jackie’s calling but Varvara powers her phone off. Last night, while they were still in the psychiatric emergency room, she texted Jackie something vague. “Myra will be out tomorrow. Not feeling good.” But now who knows how long it will be?

Varvara stares out the window, watching the shops and houses go by. Her eyes linger on every person at an intersection holding a sign asking for money. Usually she rants about how people, including herself, got habituated to men and women on the streets way too easily and, worse, blamed them for their circumstances. If it was a choice or their fault you didn’t have to see them as someone’s brother or sister. Mother or father. Someone’s child. Maybe her child one day.

Varvara thinks about where they’ve just come from. Most of those kids were starting a lifelong relationship with a broken mental healthcare system that Varvara knows too well in all its inadequacies. There was so little she could do for these people on the streets. How much was she going to be able to do for her own daughter?

The visit did not go well. Varvara doesn’t know what she was expecting but definitely not a fight about nothing. She isn’t really worried that her child will end up homeless, not yet anyway. What she’s worried about is what Jami said: that Myra will do something impulsively that will have irreversible consequences and Varvara won’t be able to help her.

She felt helpless during the visit. Helpless and stupid, as if she was the worst parent in the world, as if her daughter hadn’t been in therapy for years, as if they hadn’t completely transformed their household to be there for their child. But none of it matters because she doesn’t know how to help her daughter now.

When Myra was little, she’d get so angry she’d fling furious fists at Varvara or David. After some trial and

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