Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway® by Susan Jeffers

Author:Susan Jeffers
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Jeffers Press
Published: 2014-01-08T03:55:20+00:00

There are many inner clues that help you know when it is time to correct. The two most obvious are confusion and dissatisfaction. Ironically, these are considered negatives, instead of positives. I know it is hard to accept, but an upset in your life is beneficial, in that it tells you that you are off course in some way and you need to find your way back to your particular path of clarity once again. Your confusion and dissatisfaction are telling you that you’re offtrack, and, as a friend once suggested to me, “If you don’t change your direction, you’re likely to end up where you’re heading.”

Physical pain is easily seen as beneficial, even though it can be very uncomfortable. It is an obvious symptom that something is wrong with your body. A pain in your right side might save your life by signaling an appendicitis attack. If you don’t pay attention to it, you could die. Mental pain is just as much a “blessing,” because it is telling you that something is wrong with the way your life is going. It is a sign that something needs correction—whether it is the way you think about the world or what you are doing in the world—or both. The pain is simply saying, “Hey, that’s not it!”

The way to figure out how to get back on course is through the exploration process—reaching out through self-help books, workshops, friends, support groups, therapy, or whatever seems right for you when you reach out for help. As long as you are open to reaching out, help will be there. Remember, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” You will never be ready if you are busy protecting the course you have chosen for yourself. You will be perpetually off course and never reach your destination. When you are constantly aware of the clues that signal “time to correct,” you will always end up in the right spot—or at least in the vicinity.

As a handy review, here is a summary of the steps in the decision-making process. By applying these, you’ll breathe a lot easier as you make choices throughout your lifetime.

NO-LOSE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS

BEFORE MAKING A DECISION

1. Focus on the No-Lose Model.

2. Do your homework.

3. Establish your priorities.

4. Trust your impulses.

5. Lighten up.

AFTER MAKING A DECISION

1. Throw away your picture.

2. Accept total responsibility.

3. Don’t protect, correct.

If you don’t think the above makes absolute sense, let me summarize the steps we usually take when using the No-Win Model:

NO-WIN DECISION-MAKING PROCESS

BEFORE MAKING A DECISION

1. Focus on the No-Win Model.

2. Listen to your mind drive you crazy.

3. Paralyze yourself with anxiety as you try to predict the future.

4. Don’t trust your impulses—listen to what everyone else thinks.

5. Feel the heaviness of having to make a decision.

AFTER MAKING A DECISION

1. Create anxiety by trying to control the outcome.

2. Blame someone else if it doesn’t work out as you pictured.

3. If it does work out, keep wondering if it would have been better the other way.

4. Don’t correct if the decision is “wrong”—you have too much invested.

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