Emotional Intelligence: How to Increase EQ, Interpersonal Skills, Communication Skills and Achieve Success (emotional intelligence, emotions, how to read ... problem solving, communication Book 3) by Richards Thomas

Author:Richards, Thomas [Richards, Thomas]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2015-03-26T18:30:00+00:00

Manage Conflicts

We can’t always agree with everyone. The world would be a much less exciting place if we could. But when conflicts arise, we can learn to manage them effectively and professionally.

Weddings provide a wonderful metaphor for the many conflicts human life offers as we walk through it. Mom doesn’t care for your choice of dress. Dad doesn’t like the band you’ve chosen. Chicken or fish? Buffet or table service? It doesn’t matter who’s getting married, someone in the immediate vicinity of any wedding planning process is going to have a bone to pick. You may not be able to make everyone the happiest camper in the tent, but you can bring peace to that tent. Knowing how to manage people’s expectations is probably the best place to start.

Is it your wedding? Then perhaps it’s incumbent on you to make that clear from the start. Is it your dress? Then it kind of doesn’t matter if your mother likes the dress or not, you will be the one wearing it. There’s no need to make mum feel unimportant, or slighted. There is, however, a need on your part to let mom know that while you value her input, you have dreamed of wearing a dress just like the one you’ve dreamed of your whole life. If you take the time to have a sit down with her and talk to her, you’ll find she’ll understand. Do it before you act, though. Manage mom’s expectations before those expectations have the chance to transform themselves into a needless conflict.

When people know what to expect and what’s expected of them, they’re less likely to build themselves up to a conflict later. A wedding is a project, above all else. In the project management model, timelines for all associated tasks are laid out in a grid, with those responsible assigned from the outset. All concerned can see what they’ve been given to do and when they have to deliver on the task. If you’re the bride (or project manager), you can find something for mom to do that she’ll enjoy. But the dress? That’s your action item. Clarity is a key skill in managing the expectations of those around you and in doing so, you’ve avoided the eventuality of most conflicts arising from misunderstandings (which are born in the mud of poor communication).

Once conflicts and the resentments that come with them have formed (and sometimes, even the best management skills can’t avoid them all), putting your emotional intelligence to work will help you wade into those murky waters and help all involved extricate themselves from the unpleasant dynamic they’re embroiled in. Getting to the bottom of a conflict is EQ’s finest hour. You know who you’re dealing with. You have a clear idea of their trigger points and you know how to massage them out of the conflict. This is not babysitting. It’s the work of relationship management to operate from understanding and knowledge of the people around you.

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