Ecstasy by Eisner.;

Ecstasy by Eisner.;

Author:Eisner.; [Eisner, Bruce]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781579511456
Publisher: Lightning Source Inc. (Tier 3)


Affirming Who I Am, Where I am Going

37-year-old female, graduate student, systems designer

Set: self-exploratory, meditative

Setting: at home, with therapist/guide

Catalyst: 150 mg. plus 50 mg. MDMA

Whatever I can say now only dimly reflects my meeting with myself under Adam’s influence. These phrases and ideas from the transcript remind me of some of the highlights:

There’s an opening that wasn’t there before . . .

It’s clear that everything I’m about, and everybody is about, is just loving God, and how to do that . . .

Guide: Does this remind you of your previous psychedelic experience?

Answer: This is quite different. Much more important. Much more personal, much more relevant. Much easier to carry back and to apply. I’ve got so much love and compassion that attaches itself to anything in the vicinity and tries to make it seem appropriate. That’s when I forget that what I’m all about is loving God—then I try to put too much into any relationship.

There are still levels of integration to do around sexuality . . . There’s a real confusion of some kind . . . a real split . . . Now I’m listening to my inner voice—usually I tend to avoid it . . . Sex can be a way to get closer to God, but I haven’t been choosing in such a fashion that it’s going to be . . . It’s been very helpful to be celibate because I can see so much more clearly and easily where my sexual energy goes, where my attractions are.

What is the source of my arthritis? Blocked energies. I need to get in touch with what I want, and let the knowledge lubricate my joints: no more stoppage of anger or love. Let it all flow through!

Guide: So love lubricates the joints!

Material about a sexual molestation incident—first reported during a hypnosis session several weeks ago—has had much more meaning for me since I heard the tape of the Adam session. In it I sounded like I was seven years old. The impact comes from the deep recognition of how many ways the event molded my responses to the world around me, in part because of the distrust of my parents that was focused by the incident. Reliving this incident helped to free up my energy and emotions in a number of ways: it feels like this process will be ongoing for some time to come. The understanding and resolving of this incident is not only helpful to me personally; it can be a vehicle for my reaching out to others with similar experiences.

In general, my journey with Adam affirmed who I am, what I am doing, where I am going. The affirmation was experienced through an opening of my heart rather than as a deepening of intellectual understanding, although some of that has also occurred.

The Adam, the set, the setting, and the invaluable input and support of the therapist/guide created a sense of receptivity, wonder, love, and joy. In this set and setting, with empathy for all aspects of life, learning took place whose content was easily and deeply received.



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