Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman

Author:Matt Dinniman [Dinniman, Matt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: LitRPG, Apocalyptic, Humor
Publisher: Dandy House
Published: 2020-10-02T04:00:00+00:00

27

The last tuskling to fall was different than the others. She was a level eight, a “Tuskling Dominatrix.” She fell after being crushed under Brandon’s hammer.

The music stopped, and the lights returned to normal. The world froze. The Winner! notification appeared. Behind me, Chris fell to his knees, and he hung his head low. We just looked at each other, nobody saying anything. Imani fed Yolanda a health potion, and the woman sat up, wobbling, holding the side of her head. Agatha shuffled toward me, shaking her fist. Half of the woman’s head was caked in blood, and she didn’t seem to notice.

“Give it back!” she cried.

“Here,” I said. I pulled the shopping cart into existence a foot off the ground, and it crashed down loudly.

“Hey,” she cried. She clutched an Ikea bag off the top and peered inside, as if afraid I’d stolen something. She poked suspiciously at the pink flamingo at the end of her cart.

“You know, you can put all of this into your own inventory,” I said. “You don’t need to wheel it around.”

“She hasn’t gone through the tutorial,” Yolanda said. The small woman, who still had blood all over her own face, pulled out a cloth and cleaned off Agatha's. "She doesn't have an inventory yet."

That didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was that Agatha was level two, not one. How had she done that? She wasn’t in the Meadow Lark party. That meant she must have killed a mob. I wondered what the story was there. Actually, no, I realized, looking at Agatha now. She’d hit level four, thanks to the boss. She hadn’t done anything, but she’d been in the room, and that counted for something at least. Donut and I were both now level 10. Halfway to 11. We’d received a ton of experience, more than I’d expected. Imani was level 11 now. Chris and Brandon had skipped level seven altogether and were level eight. Yolanda had jumped from five to level six.

I didn’t even want to think about how all that experience was distributed. It seemed there were a dozen different calculators running all at once to figure it out. It gave me a headache.

“We need to find whatever the boss dropped,” I said.

“It’s over there,” Donut said. “The Dominatrix lady has it. I already got mine.”

For the first time, I looked about, taking stock of the damage we’d dealt. All of us had managed to survive relatively unscathed, but this section of the room and everyone in it looked like someone had spilled a giant can of Spaghetti-o’s on us from above. The crushed and disemboweled tuskling bodies lay everywhere, mixed in with the shattered pieces of our fortress.

“That didn’t go as expected,” Brandon said. He shook his hand, spraying blood everywhere.

“We’re alive,” I said as I reached down to loot the persistent item from the tuskling’s corpse.

The AI seemed to be doing a whispery David Attenborough impersonation as he read the description of the item:

Borough Field Guild.

Ahh, look at you.

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