Dragan by Plum Pascal

Author:Plum Pascal [Pascal, Plum]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-12-01T05:00:00+00:00

ELEVEN

Flumph

Mortal Plane

“The vampire’s back at it,” I tell King Shadow Fuck and King Elf Dick after they finally come back to the fire.

‘Course, the jerks won’t take my word for it. Both o’ ‘em turn to look at the stone and, sure ‘nough, the vampire is crouched over it. His face is so close to it, I think he’s about to kiss the freakin’ thing.

First, both kings don’t say nothin’. They just sit their big asses down; both seem a little more bad-tempered than usual. And that’s sayin’ somethin’, ‘cause the twos o’ them are always gripin’ ‘bout something. I notice they sittin’ way far away from Eilish, like she just let out a ripper fart that stinks somethin’ awful. But I’m sure that ain’t the case. Do angels even fart? ‘Course, she ain’t a full-blooded angel from what’s I just overheared from her convo with the vamp. An’ I be pretty sure demons fart ‘cause why else would they be called demons?

“That’s not good,” Cambi-yawn says finally. “Did he tell you he was going back?”

Then I realize he’s talkin’ to me. Not often they ask me anythin’, so I get real tall and stick my chest out, all important-like.

“Did he tell me?” I ain’t sure what the fuck King Angry Cock is asking me. Did who tell who what? “I’se pretty sure the answer’s no, ‘cause ain’t no one tell me shit ‘round here, and frankly I’se sick and tir—"

The elf interrupts me. “Fuck,” he say.

Now I’se extra pissed, ‘cause I had me a whole speech prepared an’ everything. So I turn to King Shadow Taint, figurin’ maybes he wanna hear my story? “If Cambion hadn’t told me to spy on Pretty an’ the vamp, I wouldn’t know half o’ the nothin’ I currently knows!”

King Elf Ass’ head snaps back my way and he narrow his eyes real mean, like I jist said too damn much. King Shadow Dump’s reaction is similar.

“Cambion told you to spy on them?” He sounds mad but I ain’t here to protect nobody no more. No way. No how. I did my rescuin’, ‘nough to last me a lifetime. And let me tell you, I ain’t got no intention of doin’ any more hero work unless there’s a mighty big wage increase, if ya catch my drift.

“So what if I did?” the elf snaps back. “Are you really going to get on your moral high horse after failing to tell me the angel is a fucking a Succubus?”

I hear a gasp from the lady. Now it’s her turn to look shocked. I let out a burp that tastes an awful lot like that nasty shit Lord Shadow Kitchen cooked up.

“Cambion, I didn’t know!” Eilish starts, shakin’ her head real determined like. She sounds scared as she face him and her eyes get this big look to ‘em.

“You think I believe that?” he spits back before he look at the whacked out vamp again. “Who told Baron to return to the stone because I sure

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