Don't Wear Polka-Dot Underwear with White Pants: (And Other Lessons I've Learned) by Allison Gutknecht

Author:Allison Gutknecht
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Aladdin
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Because I may be only the narrator and I may not be able to do a cartwheel, but I, Mandy Berr, will never be a damp crybaby.

CHAPTER 7

Worst Audience Ever

I DO NOT TALK TO the twins ever.

I know that they do not talk—I am not a dope. But Mom and Dad always talk to them as if they are going to answer, which I think is silly, because what is the point?

But today Mrs. Spangle let the rest of the class practice their lines during school, and I did not get to practice once. She had lined up all the presidents in order and had them read their parts. They each have only eight lines, so I don’t know why they have to practice so much. I have fifty-six lines altogether—I counted them—so if anyone should get to practice in front of everybody, it is me.

“You are the thread that holds the quilt together,” Mrs. Spangle had said when I asked if it was my turn yet. “We need to get the squares all assembled and in order before we can sew them into one piece.” And I do not know what she is talking about with this quilt, but I do know that I am not happy that I was sitting by myself for a whole hour and did not get to say one line.

So now here I am: a whole day with no practice and the most lines of anyone. I ask Timmy if he will listen to me read my lines again, but he does not want to, which I think is rude. He is three years old and should not have a say in what he gets to do. If I could make him throw up those gummy bears, I would take them back.

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