Diesel - 01 - Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich

Author:Janet Evanovich
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Mystery
ISBN: 9780312652913
Publisher: Macmillan
Published: 2010-09-15T19:32:33+00:00

The Spook Patrol was gone when we parked in front of my house. Probably off getting their gizmo fixed after Diesel pitched it into the road. I checked my mailbox and took out three bills and a letter from a publisher. I read the publisher letter immediately.

“Well?” Diesel asked.

“Another rejection,” I said, returning the letter to its envelope.

“Persistence,” Diesel said.

“Persistence,” I repeated.

Cat 7143 gave Carl the evil eye when we walked through the door, but he didn’t hiss or slash Carl’s chest open, so I figured that was a good sign. Carl played it safe and wrapped himself around Diesel’s leg until we made it to the kitchen, where he could scamper up a cabinet and sit on the top of the refrigerator.

I got my notebook out and turned to the tabbed section that held recipes in progress.

“As long as I have this opportunity at home, I’m going to work on my cookbook,” I told Diesel.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, being that you’re under the influence of Shirley’s glutton charm?”

“I don’t have a choice. My house is sagging.”

I thumbed through a couple pages and settled on biscuits. I wanted a savory biscuit, and I was working at selecting cheese and herbs. I went to the fridge and got milk, plus a pound of butter, a chunk of Vermont cheddar, a chunk of Emmentaler, and a chunk of Gruyère. I hauled a sack of flour out of the pantry and looked at the butter. There was only half a pound.

“What happened to the butter?” I asked Diesel.

“You took it to the pantry with you.”

“Yes, but now there’s only half a pound.”

Diesel’s eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch. “Your face is greasy. Looks to me like you scarfed down the butter.”

“You said you wouldn’t let me eat everything!”

“You were sneaky. You ate in the pantry.”

I went back to the refrigerator for more butter, but there wasn’t any more.

“I’m out of butter,” I said to Diesel. “Now I can’t make biscuits.”

“Make half a batch,” Diesel said. “Or make something else.”

“We should have stopped at the store.”

“Put the cheese down,” Diesel said.

“Excuse me?”

“You were eating the cheese.”

I looked at the wedge of cheese in my hand. Sure enough, someone had eaten some of it.

“It has my cooties,” I said. “I might as well finish it.”

Diesel snatched the cheese from me. “No.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s mine.”

“Not anymore, it isn’t.”

I kicked at him, but he moved away.

“Behave yourself,” Diesel said.

“And if I don’t?” I asked him. “What then? Would you have to punish me? Would you put me over your knee?”

“Uh-oh,” Diesel said. “You’re sounding like Lenny.”

“Lizzy’s been a bad girl,” I said to him. “Lizzy needs a good spanking.”

“Lizzy needs to think about something else,” Diesel said.

“Like what? Handcuffs? Do you have handcuffs? How about this? How about you spank me while I eat an entire jar of peanut butter with my tongue while I’m handcuffed.” Even as I said this, I was feeling ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop the trash from coming out of my mouth.

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