Diary of a Lonely Girl, or the Battle against Free Love by Miriam Karpilove

Author:Miriam Karpilove
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780815654902
Publisher: Syracuse University Press
Published: 2019-12-03T00:00:00+00:00

33

My New Room

The thought that he might come to my room and I won’t be there, that he’ll knock and knock and my door won’t open for him, makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. In better, calmer times it would have had the opposite effect on me. My new room is as certain as a grave. I feel like I’ve been thrown into a different world. The old darkened walls decorated with goyish pictures; the large round dresser; the quilt stitched together with scraps of fabric; all of these and more are unfamiliar to me. I’ve never been in such a goyish space, and no one I know will ever guess that I’m living here. I can hardly believe it myself. When I wake up I have to pinch myself to be sure it’s me who’s here, and not some other woman.

I’ve been here for two days and already it seems like forever. I’m not working. For now, I’m free to lock myself in my room and try to withstand the coldness it makes me feel.

I feel hidden, torn from the entire world. Everything here seems foreign to me.

A little cat ran in through the window and I played with her. I petted her and looked into her feline eyes. But she was soon bored of me and just as quickly as she came, she leapt out the door and ran away.

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