Devilishly Short #1 by Destiny Ford

Author:Destiny Ford
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Destiny Ford
Published: 2014-04-29T16:00:00+00:00

Turn the page to read the first chapter of

The Devil Drinks Coffee,

A Kate Saxee Mystery, Book 1!

If it wasn’t for the damn pig . . .

I shook my head as I looked out the window at mirror-like waves rising off the road. It was one hundred and two degrees—the hottest day of the year so far—and I was roasting.

Branson Falls, Utah, has a total of two stoplights. Since catching jaywalkers and light runners is one of the only things for Branson cops to do, Officer Bob had been hiding out between The Snow Cone Hut and Movie Mayhem like a turtle in a Crown Victoria shell. I didn’t see him until after I zoomed through a mostly yellow light on the way to cover my next big story: the birth of a bright purple pig.

It had taken Bob a mile to catch up, and me another mile to realize Bob had purposely turned his lights and siren on—I was surprised he knew where the buttons were located. I finally pulled over in front of the Branson convenience store, also known as the den of iniquity that sells beer, condoms, and coffee.

Like me, my Jeep Grand Cherokee doesn’t handle heat waves well, so I’d turned the engine off when Officer Bob stopped me. But I could see him relaxing in his idling, air-conditioned squad car, and I was getting angrier by the minute. There sat Bob, comfortable as could be, while the hair on my arms started to singe and the back of my legs glued themselves to my sticky leather seat. I was hot, cranky, and late for an important appointment with a pig. It was time to get proactive.

I got out of my Jeep as a jacked-up black Ford truck with tinted windows roared past me at breakneck-speed and careened down the road. I scowled at the truck, angry that I’d been pulled over when, clearly, the truck driver needed a speeding ticket. Officer Bob seemed unconcerned, however, so I went back to my original plan. I pulled my v-neck sky blue shirt down and crossed my arms under my chest, propping my boobs up. If college taught me one thing, it was how to use boob manipulation. With the girls at their perkiest, I walked up to Officer Bob’s door and pasted on my most charming smile before bending down to look at Bob. His round cheeks and gradually receding hairline made him seem older than he was. He was taking great effort to ignore me so I knocked on his window to the tune of shave-and-a-haircut.

Unable to overlook me any longer, Bob pressed the automatic window button. As the glass rolled down, a merciful wave of cool air hit me from inside his car. “I could arrest you for gettin’ out of your car, you know.” He said it like he thought he was Eric Cartman from South Park. I half expected him to flash his badge and tell me to “respect his authoritah.”

“Arrest me for what?”

“Standin’ there.

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