Dead Room Farce by Simon Brett

Author:Simon Brett [Simon Brett]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Severn House Publishers Ltd
Published: 2012-09-28T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

‘MAURICE SKELLERN Artistes.’

‘Maurice, it’s Charles.’

‘Long time no hear.’

Charles bit back the instinctive response – And whose fault is that, Maurice?, as his agent went on, ‘So how you doing, Charles? Enjoying that tour I set up for you?’

‘You didn’t set it up for me. I was interviewed for it by Parrott Fashion Productions because Bernard Walton had mentioned my name. All you had to do was negotiate the contract. And then you accepted the first figures they mentioned without any argument. That is not my idea of “setting things up”.’

‘Don’t be picky, Charles. Anyway, how’s it going? It’s the Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it? And don’t tell me, don’t tell me – you’re playing Friar Tuck.’

‘I think Friar Lawrence is the character you have in mind, Maurice.’

‘Oh well, same difference.’

‘However, the show I’m in is not Romeo and Juliet. It’s the first run of a new farce by Bill Blunden, entitled not on your wife!’

‘Yes, I knew that, Charles. Of course I knew that. I was only having a little joke with you.’

‘Oh yes?’ That Charles certainly didn’t believe. ‘All right then – test question. Where am I calling you from? Where’ve we got to in the tour?’

‘Well, I . . . Look, honestly, Charles, without the contract in front of me, I’d find it very difficult to say. I mean, I suppose you imagine you’re the only client I have to worry about all the time – and in a way I’m flattered that you think that, because it’s a tribute to the kind of exclusive, personal service I’m giving you – but the fact remains that you’re only one amongst many highly respected, highly valued clients. And if I could give you the chapter and verse of where every one of them is at any given moment . . . well, I tell you, Maurice Skellern’s feats of memory would be in The Guinness Book of Records.’

The whole speech was so outrageously at odds with the truth that Charles Paris hadn’t got the energy to start arguing. ‘I’m in Norwich, Maurice,’ he said dully.

‘Yes, of course you are. Vanbrugh Theatre.’

‘That’s in Bath. That was last week. It’s the Palace Theatre in Norwich.’

“Course it is. You know, Charles, what a lot of my clients do . . .’

‘Hm.’

‘. . . when they’re on tour, they send me kind of itineraries . . . you know, week-by-week lists of digs where they’re staying, contact numbers, that kind of thing.’

‘Ah.’

‘Or a lot of them have mobile phones. Do you have a mobile phone, Charles?’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Oh, you should. Wonderful invention, the mobile phone, for people in your profession, Charles. Means you need never be out of contact with your agent, never be out of the swim of the showbiz maelstrom.’

‘I see. But since you never ring me, Maurice, I’m not quite sure what would be the point of my sending you itineraries . . . or of having a mobile phone, come to that.’

‘No. No, well, right. For someone like you, Charles, I agree, it’s probably not so important.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.