Crying in the Bathroom by Erika L. Sánchez

Author:Erika L. Sánchez [Sánchez, Erika L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2022-07-12T00:00:00+00:00

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I taught in the Dominican Republic during my semester abroad when I was nineteen, and some of the girls I taught—their skin all manner of brown with hair very nearly black—these girls would draw pictures of themselves with blue eyes and blond hair. I wonder where they are now and if they still think their skin is the color of peaches. Strangely enough, they reminded me of my maternal grandmother. With brown skin and thick, dark braids, she looks undeniably Indigenous, and yet it was she who told my little brother that his next girlfriend should be tall and blond, and then was appalled when my mother asked her how she would react if he fell in love with a Black woman. I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Does she have some sort of dysmorphia? Does colonialism reach that deep into her psyche?

Among much of my family, being dark is undesirable. Some relatives use the word “indio” as a slur against darker-skinned Mexicans. The word “prieto,” which means “dark complexioned,” can be either affectionate or derogatory, depending on the context and tone, and it is used liberally. A family member once praised the Spanish for “bettering” our race.

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