Crossroads by Leon Jaworski

Author:Leon Jaworski [Jaworski, Leon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: mom 04/05/2014
ISBN: 9780891912897
Amazon: 0891912894
Goodreads: 2029573
Publisher: Cook Communications Ministries Intl
Published: 1981-03-01T06:00:00+00:00

As I saw it 1 said, “By the way, Mike, what is the name of the fellow you used to visit down there?”

Flashing his white teeth in a grin, he gave me a playful poke. “Aw, c’mon, colonel, you darn well know the name of that fellow.”

The organ music swelled in the First Presbyterian Church, and I was pulled from my reverie to the somber reality of a funeral, a memorial service for this beloved boy. I walked from the church trying to be pleasant to those around me, but

CROSSROADS

still lost in thoughts of our times together.

Weeks went by before I finally accepted the fact that Mike was gone. And then I was even more distraught. There were no words, nothing that could comfort me. Memories of the loss of my brother, Joe, crushed in on me. He was another fine young man, the apple of my father’s eye with a promising career ahead of him. I remembered how my heartbroken father had wept over his loss in times alone, yet still bore up bravely to others.

“It is God’s will,” he had said, his voice quaking. “We must accept it.”

I had tried to understand then, and I attempted to understand now. But try as 1 might I could find nothing in my father’s words or conduct that would lessen my almost uncontrollable bereavement. I remembered the elderly lawyer who on hearing of my brother’s death had said he could never understand why the Lord let so many rascals run loose and then took a fine young man like Joe.

There was nothing anyone could say or do that would help me understand the violent snuffing out of Mike’s life, Mike who had so much to give.

When our minister returned to Houston he called and wanted to talk with me. Even though Jack Lancaster was a dear friend on whom I would be quick to rely for support, I found myself freezing inside. I did not want promises of hope, of life continuing, of God’s will. It had all become meaningless.

“No, Jack,” I said emotionlessly, “it will have to wait awhile.”

When next Jeannette and I returned to the ranch, I did not enjoy it anymore. I seemed to walk in a daze, doing things automatically.

“The chain saw and the tools,” I found myself saying. “I’ll have to find where he left them.” Jeannette went along in the jeep. Our search was much longer then we had expected when Jeannette finally spotted the tools on the side of a hill. I picked them up and put them into the back of the jeep.

Swamp Fox

As I drove back to the ranch house, we passed near the little grove that Mike and I had discovered many years ago, the place v^here he used to talk to Swamp Fox.

I glanced in the other direction.

Swamp Fox had lost his meaning.

The little boy was gone.

The wonder and delight had vanished like morning hill mist.

I did not want to be reminded of lost dreams anymore.

16

The Nation

at the Crossroads

It was Sunday morning early in November, 1973.

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