Confessions of a Caffeine Addict by Marina Kushner

Author:Marina Kushner [Desconocido]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: non-fiction
Publisher: SCR Books
Published: 2018-11-13T16:00:00+00:00

~ 20th Confession ~

Caffeine Nightmare

I never did drugs, but in college I became addicted to the unlikeliest of drugs, caffeine.

During my sophomore year, I was taking 15 credits while working part-time and writing for the school newspaper. My body and mind could not keep up. I was falling asleep in class and on the job. I began looking for ways to increase my energy. A floor-mate suggested coffee. I hated coffee, but I thought I would try it. I ordered a large cup of black coffee from the campus cafeteria while studying for a test. It was very bitter and I had trouble finishing it. By the end of the hour, I understood why people flocked to caffeine. I felt re-energized and was easily able to finish studying. That began an addiction that has not ended to this day.

I would buy three cups of black coffee and stay up as long as I needed. I had enough energy to study and work both jobs. I thought this is how Superman must feel, finding a way to attain limitless energy. Caffeine seemed to be too good to be true, and I would find out that it was.

After drinking three cups of black coffee a day for a year, my body started to crave even more caffeine. I started to buy Jolt soda, which was advertised as having twice the strength as coffee. Buying three cups of coffee and a six-pack of Jolt a day started crippling my finances. Then I added energy drinks.

Even though I was working two jobs, my income was not enough to buy enough caffeine to keep me alert. I started borrowing money from my parents and friends to make ends meet, but I was never able to catch up to my newfound debt.

Physically, things became just as tough. I got headaches when I did not get enough caffeine. I also felt sluggish, nervous, and grumpy. My concentration and focus waned, and my schoolwork and job production plummeted. I had mood swings. I would be happy and pleasant, but in an instant I would get angry and impatient. My girlfriend fought with me because of this and demanded that I stop drinking coffee and soda, but that infuriated me even more. The time we spent together erupted into heated arguments. We eventually broke up. I still have regrets, though I have not heard from her for many years.

Additionally, I would get into arguments with my parents. Before my addiction, we had a close and loving relationship. But they started questioning my constant requests for money. I would shout at them and hang up on them. I could not control myself.

Caffeine was already having a devastating effect, but things would get even worse. In high school, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and a heart murmur. For years after the diagnosis, I have never had any problems. However, my high caffeine intake made my heart and blood pressure race, putting me in constant danger of a heart attack, but I could not quit.

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