Coffee by Matthew J. Metzger

Author:Matthew J. Metzger [Metzger, Matthew J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: NineStar Press, LGBT, contemporary, British, trans, gay, queer, age gap, established couple, size difference, blue collar, disability, ableism, death and grieving, family issues, dirty talk, wedding, ownvoices
Publisher: NineStar Press
Published: 2019-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

THEY WALKED DOWN to the end of the road to post the invitations that evening.

The rain had eased up, but it was bitterly cold. All the same, Chris pushed them into the letterbox one by one, listening to the satisfying thump as they hit the pile of letters inside. Gina. Luke. Rhodri. Thirty-four for the rugby guys, sliding down in a messy clatter. Dad.

Mum.

Once they were all gone, he shoved his hands in his pockets and blew out a breath. Poppy had been dozing when they’d set out, so he’d left her to it, but he regretted it now. He felt adrift—then John read his mind as always and slid both arms around his waist to anchor him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Eh?”

“You’re quiet and biting your lip again. And sexy as your lip-ring looks when you do that, it’s not your flirty face.”

Chris hummed, resting his head against John’s chest. John was a whole foot taller than him, and while it was a bloody nightmare for trying to sneak a kiss, it was a godsend for hugs.

“What’s up?”

“I should ring Mum and tell her the date.”

He’d rung Dad and been made to tell Caroline and Lauren by speakerphone. He’d texted Luke and told Gina when she’d arrived to help with making the invitations. But he’d not rung Mum. Or texted her. Or—anything.

She’d just get the invite in the post, like Aunt Glynis and Uncle Tom in Aberdeen. Who he hadn’t seen for nearly twenty years, but couldn’t not invite because they sent a birthday card and twenty pounds every year and used the right name to do it.

He’d invited Mum just like them.

He ought to ring her. But—

“I just don’t know that I want to right now,” he admitted.

“Then don’t.”

John’s voice was warm and soothing. He’d pitched it very low, in a soft murmur that purred rather than really spoke. Chris pressed a little harder into his chest to feel it and the steady thump of his enormous heart.

“It might make things worse if she finds out I told Dad but just sent her an invite.”

“She’s only got herself to blame,” John murmured. “Look, don’t worry about pleasing other people right now, okay? It’s our wedding. Not theirs.”

“I don’t even know if Mum’s going to come.”

John shifted. A hand raked through Chris’s hair, tipping his head back until his cold mouth was warmed with a kiss.

Then John asked, “What if she doesn’t?”

Chris swallowed thickly.

Part of him wanted to tell her not to. Part of him didn’t want her sour face and long pauses at his wedding. But she was his mum. And telling her to stay away was very different than her ignoring the invite. God, what if she didn’t come? What if she looked at the invite, put it aside, and never replied? What if she ignored it? What if he walked out of that little room on the first Friday in September, happily married, and his mother wasn’t waiting with all the other guests?

What if?

His heart creaked a little. He’d never had designs on getting married, but now he was, it would hurt if his own mother didn’t show up.

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