Coaching Plain & Simple: Solution-focused Brief Coaching Essentials (Norton Professional Books (Paperback)) by Kirsten Dierolf & Daniel Meier & Peter Szabó

Author:Kirsten Dierolf & Daniel Meier & Peter Szabó [Dierolf, Kirsten]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2009-03-30T04:00:00+00:00

Small changes can have large effects in a system. So it’s better to make small, realistic, humble, and therefore feasible plans.

Talking about small steps often also decreases the pressure on the customer. Often clients are already under a lot of pressure: For example, people who are looking for a job, or who would like to improve their time management. It is helpful for them to ask for small steps that reduce the unproductive pressure (“I have been doing everything all wrong! It will be very strenuous to take this next large step!”) and thereby increase the likelihood of first small successes.

Coaching in Action:

Concrete Actions With Ms. K.

Ms. K. wanted to elaborate her new idea of the “airbag” some more.

Ms. K.: I think I would sometimes like to care less. It’s not about not caring at all, because I do want to do my job well, but maybe I could care less about things that I cannot change.

Coach: Doing your job well seems really important to you. And how could you still do a step in the right direction?

Ms. K.: Last Tuesday, for example, Dr. F. came in and threw a pile of reports onto my desk, saying that they would have to be done immediately. I couldn’t help it—I had to cry when he left. This was simply too much. There is no way I can satisfy both superiors! Dr. W. had also given me an urgent task to be done immediately. They can’t expect me to do everything at once!

Coach: I see that this is not easy for you. So how would you act differently if you had this airbag that you talked about?

Ms. K.: Then I would probably tell myself that the only thing that I can do is to do my best.

Coach: Suppose you told yourself that. What difference would it make?

Ms. K.: I would be much more relaxed.

Coach: Let’s say you tell yourself, “I will simply do the best I can” and you are more relaxed. What would you do differently then?

Ms. K.: You know what? I would probably take a short break and get myself a cup of coffee before starting anything else.

Coach: So you take a short break . . . I understand. So Dr. F. puts his report on your table and . . .

Ms. K.: Yes, I think it would be most important to get out as soon as he left. This way I wouldn’t be stuck behind my desk. I probably still don’t know what I should tell Dr. F., but it’s okay. First I have to get up and move. And then I would take time to choose what I should start doing next. That way I know that I am doing my best. And maybe I will also think about our conversation and will remember that it is really about taking good care of myself and gaining a safe distance.

Coach: So these would be clear signs that you have installed your safety airbag well. What else would tell you

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