Clouded Hell by J. R. Gray

Author:J. R. Gray [Gray, J. R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gray Books
Published: 2016-03-20T23:00:00+00:00

The sun leaked through the cracks in the windows, glinting across his chest as it expanded and contracted. He had one arm draped over his face, shielding his eyes. I crossed the room and drew the curtains. The room was engulfed in blackness. It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust. I seldom slept during the night hours, so I needed the curtains to have any hope of catching a bit of sleep.

I slipped back into bed next to him and laid my arm over his chest, inching closer, trying to not wake him. The warmth of his body heated my cool skin, and I molded myself to him. I found myself wanting more of this. I’d told myself it would be enough, but I’d been lying. I needed the dominance to keep myself sane, but I also needed someone to make my life with. I’d been punishing myself for so long I couldn’t remember what this felt like. I couldn’t let it go now, but he wasn’t mine.

“What’s in your head?” He startled me.

“I didn’t think you were awake.”

“Your thoughts are so loud they woke me,” he murmured.

I drifted my fingers over his skin. “I was trying to quiet my mind before I went to sleep.” I had to change the subject, or I risked spilling my guts. “When do you have to leave?”

“Later today.”

“Stay.” It was an impulse, and I never acted on impulse. He really was turning me inside out, like Liv had said.

He picked up his head to look at me. “Say it again.”

“Stay, at least for a couple of days.”

A smile spread over his face like a sunrise. He lit up and dropped his forehead to rest against mine. “Now how can I say no?” He rubbed his nose over mine, and for an instant I thought he was going to kiss me. My lips parted, and I inhaled a breath of him. The ink and blood and sorrow hidden under his skin…I wanted it all. Before his lips touched mine he dropped his face to my neck and fisted a hand in my shirt. He went stiff, agony written in his movements.

I didn’t say anything, I did what I could and held him. Eventually, he loosened and slid his arm around my lower back to hold me tighter.

“I’ll stay,” he said at last. “For a couple of days.”

I turned into his hair, wanting to press a kiss there, but I stopped myself. He had limits, and he had these limits for a reason. I wasn’t going to be the dick who forced anything he didn’t want. I allowed only the smile taking over my face.

“Go back to sleep.”

“I’m trying.” I stretched out, letting him settle onto my chest. It was a lie. I wasn’t trying to sleep. I was trying to figure out how I was going to fix the mess I’d made of myself. I didn’t know how to let go of the ghost of him I’d let take over everything.

“Your thoughts are loud again.

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