Change Your Mind, Change Your Body by Ann Kearney-Cooke Ph.D. & Florence Isaacs

Author:Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D. & Florence Isaacs
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

DEAL WITH SABOTAGE

A workshop participant made up her mind to lose twenty pounds. She went to Weight Watchers and began working out. While on her treadmill at home one evening, she overheard her fifteen-year-old daughter complain to her father, “Now that Mom’s trying to lose weight, she only thinks about herself. She’s always exercising.”

I often hear similar stories from women in the groups I lead. Someone will say, “I finally did it. I got serious about eating healthy and exercising, and look what happens.” And yes, it does happen. In an ideal world family members and others who love you would say, “I’m so glad that you’re taking your health more seriously.” But that’s not the way life always operates. Others sometimes have negative reactions during your process of transformation.

Losing weight and getting fit can shake up your relationships. You change when you commit to taking charge of your body. You’re less available timewise, and your focus changes. Since you don’t operate in a vacuum, your success leads to shifts in other parts of your life, as well. You take better care of yourself and take yourself more seriously. For some people, a more confident, powerful you is a scary change, which they unconsciously try to stop. Enter diet sabotage.

Diet sabotage frequently comes from your husband or boyfriend. Although initially he might have been happy that you wanted to lose weight and was supportive of your effort, he might have assumed that you’d only do this for a few weeks. His attitude might have changed after you started making progress and it became clear that you were going to continue. He is not prepared for the kinds of changes that occur when you’re committed to achieving and maintaining a realistic goal weight.

Like your children, he may resent that you’re out walking every day or going to the health club. He misses the snacks you used to share every night. He resents attending the kids’ games by himself because you’re working out. He may even worry that you are now interested in attracting other men—or that you’ll try to get him to lose weight as your next project. On the other hand, don’t go overboard yourself. Keep balance in your life.

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