Bunnygirls by Simon Archer

Author:Simon Archer [Archer, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-06-06T22:00:00+00:00

18

My hands reached over my head, holding the rifle in both as I approached the mob of armed beast people quietly and calmly. No sudden moves, no breaks in action or pace. Every motion was relaxed, every breath subdued and serene. All to hide how absolutely tense every part of my body was feeling from the workouts, the constant battle-tactic adaptations, the dozens of severe burns, and the fact that I had to pretend I was a stupid slave again because I couldn’t reach my damn lord’s coat in time to avoid all of this horsecrap that was keeping me from collecting the body I needed to prove I killed the lord who’s estate I desperately needed to keep me alive just a few more days before the next wave of bullshit arrives to give me a whole new list of problems.

I needed a drink.

“Don’t come any closer, slave!” A Wolf guard pointed his musket at me. “Why are you pushing a giant red sea urchin through our streets?”

“Where’s your master?” A second guard asked with a bayonet. “When we’re done whipping you for disturbing the peace, we’ll make sure to tell him you stole a musket so he can whip you, too!”

“Where are your ears?” The first one asked further. “Looks like you’ve already been a pretty bad girl.”

Um, excuse me, what the fuck?

“You’re pretty husky for a hairless bunny, aren’t you?” the second one pointed out incorrectly and unnecessarily breathily. “Raggedy clothes. I kinda like that.”

Oh, dear God, no.

“What if we wait on taking her back?” a third one suggested creepily. “Take a detour to the lord’s place, maybe. Maybe grab some supper.”

Of all the things I was willing to put up with today, this was one of them.

“Look, fellas,” I spoke softly yet sternly, continually walking slowly towards the right. “Fellow men, of which we share a gender. A raggedy hairless hare with a strange musket running around shooting a fiery monster through your streets is nothing to be concerned about.”

“It’s not?” the first one asked, genuinely curious about it as he lowered his musket. “It’s been tearing up the streets, innit? That’s concerning. Is it supposed to be a friendly sea urchin? Why’s it on fire?”

“You’re a hare?” The third one looked at me, doing the same with his musket. “I can never tell with slaves. You got them naked Bunny hands, and you got Bunny smell on you.”

“I assure you, that’s completely coincidental.” I kept lying through my teeth. “The giant sea urchin was going to be a pet for my master, but he dropped his musket, and the creature swallowed him. I picked it up and have been trying to save him. I need you to let me go before it makes it to the ocean and drowns him!”

“Hey, wait a minute.” A fourth spoke up from behind the guards. “Is that the lord who was challenging Timberpine earlier?”

“No, it can’t be him.” The second guard ‘corrected’ him. “He’s got no lord’s coat on him.

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