Buddhism without Beliefs by Stephen Batchelor

Author:Stephen Batchelor [Batchelor, Stephen]
Language: eng
Format: azw, epub
ISBN: 9781101663073
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 1998-03-01T05:00:00+00:00

I OPEN THE refrigerator. The interior of the cold humming box reveals brightly labeled jars, saucers covered with foil, anonymous plastic bags, a perspiring can of chilled beer, illuminated in a way that reminds me of prisons. I cast my eye to where the milk should be but there is none, recalling in that moment how I used it up yesterday afternoon for coffee when S came around. The fridge door closes with the sound of a faint gasp, and the bowl on which I had fixed my attention as S spoke flashes before me. I swivel around on my right heel, catching as I do a blur of kitchen until my gaze settles first on the empty hook by the dog’s leash and then on the keys still lying on the sideboard where I tossed them yesterday in fatigue and mild irritation. With the worn glint of key-metal the same irritation flickers from my solar plexus and lodges in my throat. I cough, pretending to myself that this might be the first symptom of a cold, and reach for the scarf lying over the back of a chair, then the coat hanging for once where it should be, on the stand by the door. I pull the door, but it’s locked, and a muscle in my shoulder objects. I cross the room for the keys, almost tripping as I do but conceiving the motion as a dance step and for a second myself as Nureyev until my fingers touch the keys and I remember the rouged face of a man denying his own death. Sadly I enter the key into the lock, where it slips with reassuring ease, and I pull open the door to enter yet another world.

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