Brother Astronomer: Adventures of a Vatican Scientist by Guy Consolmagno

Author:Guy Consolmagno [Consolmagno, Guy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: aVe4EvA
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies
Published: 2001-06-05T20:00:00+00:00

PART THREE

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ONCE IN A LIFETIME

HOLES IN THE SAND

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O WHO am I, that I should have gotten this great job?

I am an astronomer, a teacher, a researcher. An American, a baby-boomer born in Detroit, Michigan, of Italian and Irish ancestry. A Catholic.

You know, tomorrow, I could lose my job. Tomorrow, I could learn that some new experiment had overthrown every bit of science I ever thought I knew. Tomorrow, I could discover that the folks I call “mom and dad” are really not my true parents, or my country could be conquered and my citizenship could be lost. But I would still be the same person. It’s my Catholicism that is fundamental, the cornerstone of my life. It is like a rock in a river holding fast against the currents; and against this rock I measure my progress, all that I have done and all I wish to do. It is my axiom from which everything else is deduced. Terms of Use

Once, when I was in high school, I was talking to a friend who confessed that she no longer believed in the Catholic faith. More than anything, I was puzzled. It was like not believing that the Sun would rise in the morning.

“Don’t you understand it?” she said. “I was always the good little girl. I still go to communion to set an example for my younger brothers and sisters. But I don’t believe in God. Can’t you understand what it’s like not to believe anymore?”

This was 1969; there were a lot of “revolutionary” thoughts going around, and I was still getting used to the idea that you could disagree with the government and still love your country (and be a good Catholic). But to not believe in God? Sure, I’d heard of atheism, but the concept that I could be an atheist had never occurred to me.

So I tried to imagine what it would be like to live in a world without God. It was like standing at the edge of a terrifying, gaping black pit; I felt a sudden attack of vertigo. I didn’t want to not believe.

“What?” said a voice inside me. “You’re afraid? It’s only your fear of the unknown that keeps you a Catholic? Then you don’t really believe, either! You’re just too scared to give up your comfortable little world! Why, you intellectually dishonest coward!”

And I had the sinking feeling that the voice was speaking the truth.

“But,” I asked that voice timidly, “why should I not believe? What’s the point of not believing?”

The voice was silent.

A little more bravely, I went on, “Without God, who’s there to care that I’m a chicken? What difference would it matter if I’m intellectually dishonest? The fact that it does matter, proves that there’s more to the world than just materialism.

“And the fact remains, I don’t want to not believe. And you will never, ever, be able to give me a good reason to change my mind.”

All this went on in the flash of a few seconds. All my friend saw was my puzzled look.

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