Big Swiss by Jen Beagin

Author:Jen Beagin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scribner
Published: 2023-02-07T00:00:00+00:00

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HER JUTTING HIP BONES reminded Greta of a ship’s sails. Otherwise, she was straight, supple, somehow taller without clothes, and covered in tiny blond hairs. So, less like white asparagus, more like white peach. Greta wasn’t always a fan—she preferred nectarines and shaved everything, even her forearms—but the fuzz made Big Swiss seem both sturdier and sweeter, and Greta wanted to devour her immediately. So had someone else, it appeared.

“Are those… bite marks?” Greta asked.

“Bruises,” Big Swiss said.

Greta was reminded of Poland. The country. During high school, she’d accompanied a Polish friend to Kraków to visit relatives. At some point, they’d driven around the countryside in a borrowed car, sharing two-lane highways with horse-drawn carriages and huge semitrucks. There had been many kilometers between villages, and the highways were terrifyingly dark and narrow. One night, Greta noticed a woman walking. Since the highways had no shoulders, the woman walked directly in the road. Her ass cheeks, hanging out the bottom of her micro-mini, had been caught in their headlights, and her bare legs were covered in bruises. “Pull over!” Greta had shouted. “She needs help!”

She’d figured the woman had been raped, but she’d calmly leaned into the car, looked at their pimply teenage faces, scowled, and then kept walking. She’d been the first of many hookers Greta saw that night, trolling for truckers in the middle of nowhere.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Greta said now, “but you remind me of a Polish prostitute.”

“I’m a quarter Czech,” Big Swiss said. “On my mother’s side.”

Most women would’ve focused on the prostitute part.

“Some ground rules: I can penetrate you, but you can’t penetrate me.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” Greta asked.

“I’m married,” Big Swiss said. “So, no fingers, just to be clear.”

“Oral doesn’t count, I take it.”

“Ten minutes,” Big Swiss said. “No longer, and no kissing.”

“Should I pay you now or later?”

“Not funny,” Big Swiss said.

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