Being Zen: Bringing Meditation to Life by Bayda Ezra

Author:Bayda, Ezra [Bayda, Ezra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Published: 2012-04-08T14:00:00+00:00

10

Practicing with Pain and Suffering

JEAN-DOMINIQUE BAUBY, the former editor in chief of the French magazine Elle, wrote a book called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. This man had lived a very active and creative life, until one day in 1995, when he was only forty-three years old, he experienced a massive stroke that resulted in a rare condition called locked-in syndrome. While his whole body was totally paralyzed, his mind was completely functional. After lying in bed for months, he discovered he could still flutter his left eyelid. With this discovery he devised a form of communication, whereby the number of movements of this one eyelid would signify the different letters of the alphabet. This is how he spelled out each word, each sentence, of his book, poignantly chronicling his thoughts and feelings as he lay locked in his body. He died two days after the book was published.

In the one-page chapter entitled “My Lucky Day,” the author describes how the alarm clock connected to his feeding tubes was ringing continuously for half an hour. The intensely piercing beep beep beep sound jackhammered into his brain. As he began sweating profusely, the sweat unglued the tape over his right eye, loosening his eyelashes to scratch his pupil. Then his urinary catheter fell out, leaving him soaked in his own urine. There he was, lying in the drenched bed with the piercing sounds and the irritated eye. At that moment a nurse came in and, oblivious to him, switched on the television. What he saw on the screen were the bold letters of a commercial asking, “Were you born lucky?”

The author relates this story without a trace of self-pity. It’s primarily a description of his thoughts and sensations. To really appreciate the story, all we have to do is imagine ourselves in the same situation. What would our reactions be?

In general, we don’t want to have very much to do with pain. Most living creatures share this aversion. It appears to be a natural and even intelligent part of the evolutionary process. Yet human beings seem unique in their ability to contort from their pain into the state that we commonly call suffering.

Suppose my mate leaves me. There is a hole inside—unmistakably painful—heavy with fear and longing. The beliefs go spinning around: “No one will ever be there for me.” “Why is life so hard?” “What’s the point, anyway?” And of course, my natural impulse is to resist residing in the painful hole of rejection and loneliness. Unmistakably there is suffering.

How did the pain turn into suffering?

What is actually happening in the moment?

Or suppose one day I wake up feeling sick all over. The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and the pain and discomfort become more and more debilitating. The mind cries out, longing for relief. “Why is this happening to me?” “This is too much to bear.” “What will become of me?” Naturally there is a great resistance to the physical pain and discomfort. And unmistakably there is suffering.

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