Bedfellows by Bob Garfield

Author:Bob Garfield [Garfield, Bob]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: AmazonEncore
Published: 2012-10-16T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 45

GOING TO THE MATTRESSES

ON HIS FIRST day, as far as the owner could tell, Big Manny had not cussed out any bed shoppers. So far, so good. Jack had guessed correctly that traffic would be slow. It was also the first day back to school in Brooklyn, a good retail day for stationery, a black hole for the sleep trade. The new assistant manager had spent most of the afternoon on the Internet, mainly perusing info on a 1925-issue Tanganyika ten-cent stamp—with a heavy cancellation mark, unfortunately—featuring an adorable giraffe engraved in black, framed by tropical flora etched in greenback green.

But that’s not all.

Mr. Mattress returned at about 5:00. For his part, and to his substantial amazement, he’d spent most of his afternoon with Larry Rizzo trying to learn the history of mob influence on Ebbets Beach, and particularly to understand what the new threat was all about. Larry was a pest and a bit of a loon, but not a complete nincompoop; he had a pretty good fix not only on the significance of the week’s events—ominous, or worse, he concluded, and probably much worse—but also the fragile ecosystem of local commerce and criminality. “Think of it this way,” he’d told Mr. Mattress. “It’s global warming, so warm things are catching fire.” Jack could find no fault with the analogy.

Big Manny stood as his boss entered the store. “Don Schiavone,” he said.

Mr. Mattress winced. “Yeah, don’t call me that. Seriously.”

“A sign of respect, is all,” Manny replied. “You definitely saved my fat ass.”

“That’s true, Manny. I definitely did. But only with the hope that your fat ass would protect my skinny one. Any surly Russians come in this afternoon?”

“No, no Russians. A couple of Puerto Ricans. They came in for the apple cider. I sold them a bed.”

“No shit? See what I mean? Free is the most provocative word in the English language. Any trouble writing it up?”

“No, me and Jitnee figured it out. She left after. I told her to. Quiet day.”

“Fine,” Jack said. “In fact, I’m going to close the store early tonight anyway. There won’t be any traffic, and we have to get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“Inventory liquidation. The biggest sale in our history.”

Manny didn’t understand. The store had only been open for four and a half days. He said nothing; he was not consigliere of this outfit. The puzzlement, however, was written all over his face.

“Manny,” Jack explained, “at Mr. Mattress, every weekend will be the biggest sale in our history. Every single one. We’ll take down the Grand Opening banner Thursday and replace it with Inventory Liquidation. Then Fall Festival. Oktoberfest. Columbus’s Birthday. Presidents’ Day Clearance. I’ve got more banners than I’ve got beds.”

This information amused and impressed the assistant manager. It also emboldened him.

“So you was in advertising, right?” he asked.

“Wow,” Jack replied. “That’s the worst-kept secret in town.”

“Yeah, my goddaughter mighta mentioned it. So today I was what they call surfing on the Internet, and, I was wondering, you ever heard of search?”

“Search as in Google search? Search advertising?”

“Yeah, that,” said Manny.

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