Anatomy of a Crime by Sibel Hodge

Anatomy of a Crime by Sibel Hodge

Author:Sibel Hodge [Hodge, Sibel]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2020-08-18T16:00:00+00:00


Chapter Nine

HUMILIATION

They laugh at me. They think it’s all hilarious. That I’m hilarious. A joke to be ridiculed. They look at me with disgust and contempt, but they need to take a good look at themselves. They’re disgusting, shallow, and pathetic.

I’ve risen above all that now. It used to get to me big time. At first, I’d go into myself. Shrink inside. Scurry away. Hide. Sometimes, though, you can hide in plain sight. Sometimes that’s the best place.

I’ve changed now. I’ve learned, grown, and found others like me. I’ve discovered my army, and they understand me completely. They made me realise I’m not the odd one out. I know who I truly am, and I’m fine with it. There’s no point trying to stop your inner truth, is there? You can try, for a while, but it never works. It’s empowering to know I’m not alone. Makes me bolder. Dream bigger.

I’ve grown into a chameleon. I can change on the outside, mask the real me when it’s necessary. And I don’t care what the humiliating dogs think anymore. Because I know now what it takes to fool them. It takes courage. Strength. Intelligence. I’m not being lied to about how things work anymore. I’m making things work how I want them to.

I log on to the forum and read through the latest posts, the excitement building, smiling as I digest each one, studying the tips and tricks, looking for new, challenging ways to do things. Sometimes the rage and hatred take over and spew through my fingertips onto the keyboard, and I revel in it. Let it flow.

Eventually, I call up my old posts and look at the one that gives me the most pride. It’s had over a million hits now. I’m famous. Not so shabby for someone like me after all.

I think about you again. You laughed, too, once.

But who’s laughing now?



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