American Trash by Rausch Andy

Author:Rausch, Andy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Terminal Velocity - A Next Chapter Imprint
Published: 2020-11-13T16:00:00+00:00

Twenty-Nine

It's our wedding day and I'm nervous. Cutter and Kammie convinced me to make it a double-wedding, which didn't go over too well with Grace. I agreed to it without speaking to Grace, so she was angry. Turns out she doesn't like Kammie nearly as much as I thought she did. Sometimes I think about how she'd hit the roof if she knew about Kammie coming onto me. And she would really hit the roof if she knew about the night I came into Kammie. I'm just hoping like hell Kammie never mentions it to Cutter, because if she does it's gonna be a problem.

We're all four standing at the front of the First Redeemer Church. I'm staring into Grace's eyes, and Cutter and Kammie are looking at each other a few feet behind me. Reverend Sammy is officiating, and he's wearing a green and white track suit with a gold chain and orange crocs. The whole thing is strange. I don't know the Bible real well, but I believe a lot of what he's saying is just shit he's making up because he knows no one else here has read it. But again, I don't know much about the Bible, so I can't be sure. I'm listening to him talk about the sanctity of marriage, and I suddenly recognize several of the lines he's saying as lyrics from “When a Man Loves a Woman.” He's saying it's from the Bible, which I'm pretty sure is horseshit. Then he goes back to saying some more stuff about love and marriage, which sounds like it probably did come out from the Bible. But then he starts telling a story about soldiers coming home after World War One and finding that their loves had left yellow ribbons tied around the trees. He says this is a story from the old testament, but that sounds like a lie to me. I don't know as a fact, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any stories about World War One in the Bible. I'm not sure when World War One happened, but I've seen pictures of tanks and airplanes, so I'm pretty sure it occurred after the Bible.

Sammy announces that he has a special treat. I have no idea what it is because Sammy told us, “Don't worry about anything. I got it all under control.” He introduces a “very special singer” and brings out Bella, dressed in a ridiculously skimpy “fuck me” outfit. Sure, I've banged her in the ass a few times, but I've never really given her any thought. But seeing her in that tiny black outfit, I've got to admit I've got wood.

She points at an old lady sitting off to the side at a soundboard and the lady hits some buttons. “I Want It That Way” comes on, and Bella starts dancing like the Backstreet Boys, only if the Backstreet Boys had Parkinson's. She's clapping wildly and breathing heavily into the mic. Then she warbles the most horrible version of this already horrible song.

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