Always Beth by Louise Hudson

Author:Louise Hudson [Hudson, Louise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781739418014
Publisher: Mounter Press
Published: 2023-05-24T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Beth

I don’t know where the time’s gone, but all I know is it’s late and after the events of the last few days, I’m now more confused and overwhelmed than ever. Despite profusely claiming I’d be okay for the five-minute walk from cottage to cottage, James insisted on walking me back. We’ve remained in a comfortable silence the whole time and the closer we get to my gate the less time we have left to address the one topic that never came up this afternoon.

Us.

I stare up, holding his gaze. ‘Thanks for walking me back, you didn’t have to.’

‘Well, I think I did, my character is already in somewhat of disrepute. I can’t add leaving a lady to walk home in the dark to the ever-growing list of undesirable opinions you’ve already formed of me.’

I smile weakly. Any discussion about whatever our relationship is, or was, now seems irrelevant in comparison to what James and Lauren have going on in their lives.

I shuffle uncomfortably from one foot to the other. ‘Oh, I don’t know, you’re not in my bad books completely. I’m sorry again, about everything.’

‘Everything?’

He raises an eyebrow and I realise that saying sorry about everything, is no more subtle than saying I’m sorry your twin has terminal cancer.

‘What I meant was—’

In one swift motion, I’m in his arms and his lips are on mine and it’s like the last twenty- four hours haven’t happened. He holds my head tenderly between his hands and slowly brushes his thumbs across my cheeks. Something about this feels bittersweet and I’d keep my eyes closed and remain in this moment forever if I could.

‘Beth.’ His breath is warm against my skin, and I shudder in anticipation of what’s coming next.

‘I’m sorry about breaking down earlier but thank you for being there for me.’

I curl my hands comfortingly around his muscular forearms. ‘I’ll continue to be there for you, I promise.’

He tips his head back and stares aimlessly into the honeysuckle archway. ‘I can’t do that to you, Beth, you’ve got too much going on in your own life at the moment, it wouldn’t be fair.’

Panic begins to set in, he’s ending this, whatever this was. Before it’s barely begun.

I gaze up at him, unable to find any words to justify my feelings. Because they mean very little in comparison to what they’re going through. The one thing I can’t do is stop the tears from filling my eyes as I realise that calling time on this is the only option right now.

‘I’m so sorry. I thought that I could have it all, but I can’t. You were right asking me to choose between you and Lauren yesterday.’ He laughs softly and it causes a warmth to spread throughout my body. ‘Granted, you thought it was a different choice I was making, but nevertheless it has to be her. For so long we’ve only had each other and to deny her any of my time is wrong. I thought I could pretend it wasn’t happening, and you helped me forget, but I have to face reality.

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