All the Words We Know by Bruce Nash

Author:Bruce Nash [Nash Bruce]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2024-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

I undertake another experiment. With my walker and the photo of the older fellow and the piece of silk, I go to my room. My proper room, my real room, my previous room. Where the fellow with the nasty lines on his neck lies in my bed with his mouth open, and his pyjamas. I tie the piece of silk to the doorhandle, to confuse the enemy. I should not think that way, obviously. Nevertheless.

There is no wheelchair by the window, because they do not intend to murder him, because he can afford to pay. Also because he never gets out of bed. My bed. Not that I am attached to the bed. I don’t care about the bed. But the window. This window; my window.

I don’t even bother to speak to him. He lies there, being able to afford to pay, with his mouth open above the nasty lines on his neck, and his nasty pyjamas open and the entire nastiness of him pointed towards the TV on the wall. He doesn’t even know about the window. He is not attached to the window. He is attached to the bed. Ha-ha. He is attached to the bed by being able to afford to pay, by cash that flows and markets without hiccups.

I look at the window, and there is no car park. There are leaves. They do what leaves do. They leave. I look at the photo of the older fellow and I begin to feel that I am leaving too, that I leave and go through the leaves in the window and into the garden with the sunshine and the flowers and the older fellow beside me, and I begin to feel the older fellow’s hand squeezing my hand, when the door opens and the Appalachian girl comes in with a piece of silk in her hand and tells me I must have been confused by this piece of silk being tied to the wrong doorhandle, and I tell her I was looking for bingo and agree that I have been led astray by mysteriously misplaced pieces of silk, and she offers to show me the way to bingo but on the way I say I’ve changed my mind because change is good and I must be flexible and so she takes me to my room instead, and she ties the piece of silk back onto the doorhandle and helps me into the wheelchair they have put there by the window, and when she leaves I look out that window and there is the fucking car park.

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