All Due Respect 2020 by Chris Rhatigan

Author:Chris Rhatigan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Down & Out Books

I was giving Sara a bath when Annie called to say she was a match. Sara was old enough to bathe herself, but her meds made her tired, and all I could think about was how it took just an inch of water for a child to drown. The whole time I was on the phone I kept one hand on Sara’s shoulder, like if I let her go, she might slip away. When I hung up I realized how hard I’d been holding on by how her skin turned red in the shape of my hand.

Annie wanted to meet at Clyde’s, a small bar on the near east side. To celebrate, she said, and to talk. My husband got Sara out of the tub and dried, and I got my keys and my coat and drove out to meet her. I don’t remember anything about that drive now, except it was hard to find parking. I ended up leaving the Buick in a McDonald’s parking lot and walking half a block, so nervous I might throw up. I passed a line of kids standing outside the Emerson, waiting for a concert, and I remember thinking, Maybe Sara will come here one day.

Annie was already a couple drinks in when I found her in a cramped booth, two shots of whiskey on the table in front of her. She pushed one toward me as I sat down.

“Cheers,” she said, raising her glass, and I raised mine in return.

“I just found out today,” said Annie. “They’ll call you next. They had to make sure I hadn’t changed my mind.”

I felt a little dazed, but the heat of the whiskey sharpened me up.

“This is for real? This is really happening?”

She gave me a huge smile and nodded.

“Believe it,” she said. “I’ve tried this before, for other kids. This is the first time I got a match.”

I should have seen the red flag. But you overlook an awful lot when you’re that close to getting what you want.

“So, what happens next? What do we need to do? Is there anything—”

She laughed and waved away the questions.

“There’s nothing to do, Shainey. Just say yes when the doctors call. The hard part is over.”

I nodded and stared at my empty glass. Everybody prays for miracles, but nobody tells you what to do when one shows up.

“Hey, so tell me,” said Annie. “Did you get funded?”

“Sorry?”

“Online? You get all your money for her medicine?”

The fundraiser seemed like a thousand years ago. But yes, I told her, we got the money.

“Okay then,” she said. “You’re not going to need it now.”

“No, maybe not,” I said, trying to follow. Was I supposed to give it back? The fives and tens and twenties, was I supposed to return it all?

“That money’s for Sara,” said Annie. “So now I’m thinking, this is how it works. If you want the kidney, I want ten thousand dollars. Paid in installments, so the bank don’t take notice.”

What could I say? I wish I could tell you I stopped.

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