AfterMath by Emily Barth Isler

Author:Emily Barth Isler [Isler, Emily Barth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction - Middle Grade, Fiction, Middle-Grade Fiction, Middle-Grade Novel, Middle-Grade Novels, novel, Novels, gun violence, school shooting, trauma, healing, grief, friendship, mime, school, kindness, family
Publisher: Lerner Publishing Group
Published: 2021-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

“Can I ask you something?” Avery says at lunch the next day.

I nod, taking a bite of my tuna.

“Do you like Joshua?”

I feel the blush starting right near my heart and spreading up to my cheeks and finally creeping all the way to my hairline. I wish I could disappear.

“Why do you ask?” I say, trying to sound casual. I look around at the busy cafeteria, hoping no one heard. As usual, the other kids are involved in their own cliques, and no one pays any attention to Avery and me. We’re imaginary numbers. At least we have that going for us.

Avery smiles. She clearly sees my blush and knows. “I saw you watching him in mime class,” she tells me.

I look around again and scoot my chair closer to hers. “Do you think anyone else noticed?” I ask.

“Aha! So you do like him!” Avery exclaims, much too loudly for my taste.

I shrug. “I think he’s nice.”

“And cute.”

I smile. “Yeah. And cute.”

Avery nods. “He and I used to be pretty good friends, you know, before everything.”

“Oh,” I say, “but not anymore?”

Avery laughs. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly popular around here.”

I blush again, this time a fast flash that fades quickly. “Whatever,” I say, as much to myself as to Avery. “It’s not like it matters. We’re in middle school. It’s not like I was going to ask Joshua out or anything.”

Avery nods. “Good call. My mom says that the kids who are dating now are the ones who’ll get in trouble in a few years.”

I have no idea what that means, but I don’t press Avery for more information. I doubt Joshua would like me back, even if I had the courage to tell him how I felt.

But I’ve seen kids holding hands in the halls sometimes, and not just super-couple Stuart and Sasha. And maybe it’s not a date or true love, but I often wish I could hold Joshua’s hand like that. I wonder what it would feel like to have his palm press against mine. Would our fingers intertwine? Would I forget where my hand ends and his begins? Or maybe it would it be like a comforting pattern, his finger and then mine, repeating reassuringly between us.

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