Adventures in Opting Out by Cait Flanders

Author:Cait Flanders
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Trigger Publishing

Without knowing I was doing so at the time, I quickly ran through these four steps when I realized I wasn’t going to be able to complete my hike in Port Moody. I stopped (for only a few moments), realized I was running out of time and daylight, looked to see that I was still on a clearly marked path that could take me back to my car, and started heading down toward it. Years later, I ran through these steps again when I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere with my travel planning.

On my train back to London, I realized just how lost I was on this journey. Nothing about it felt good anymore. I wasn’t confident in the path I had taken. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t even know what the goal was at this point. Why was I doing any of this?! My anxiety had taken control of my thoughts, and they were constantly spiraling. I was running on adrenaline, searching online, thinking about every possible scenario, and hoping to find a simple solution—but there wasn’t one. Or at least not one that I could see clearly. So I S.T.O.P. ’d:

• Stop—When I got to Saima’s apartment, I decided to take a few days off to assess my situation and come up with a plan. I didn’t go out or do anything to distract myself. I just bought a couple of bags of groceries, settled into her home, and tried to calm my anxious mind.

• Think—I thought about my original intention for this trip, and what it had quickly shaped into instead. And then I assessed my resources—specifically, my money—and knew I was in some trouble. I could make this work temporarily, but I could also waste a lot of money trying to stay on this current path.

• Observe—I checked in with my internal compass and asked myself how I was feeling. The first emotion was fear. Mostly, the fear of quitting and feeling like a failure. But when I was really honest with myself, I also felt guilt over being completely out of alignment with my values, and that felt worse.

• Plan—After a few days, I could see only two options: I could book an expensive place for one month and spend that time looking for more affordable places, or I could book a flight home. Neither option was the clear winner, but we can’t take two paths at the same time. In the end, we have to choose one.

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