A Troll Walks into a Bar: A Noir Urban Fantasy Novel (Alexander Southerland, P.I. Book 1) by Douglas Lumsden

Author:Douglas Lumsden [Lumsden, Douglas]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Sort2
Published: 2019-11-15T22:00:00+00:00

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Contrary to what you see in movies and television shows, it’s almost impossible to knock a person out with one punch. Your brain sits in a pool of fluid that cushions it from the inside of your skull. Inside your brain are little electrical way stations called neurons, which are fed by electrolytes (potassium, calcium, and sodium). To be knocked out, you have to be hit so hard that your skull slams into your brain with enough force to knock the potassium out of your neurons. Usually, in most people, this takes more than one blow, and it helps if your brain bounces back and forth from one side of your skull to the other a few times in rapid succession. When the potassium leaves, calcium rushes in to take its place, and when your neurons get overloaded with calcium your brain shuts itself off until it can restore the proper balance of electrolytes. The shutdown generally lasts anywhere from a few seconds to several minutes, but, if the damage to your brain is severe enough, you might never recover consciousness at all. Most of the time, though, you will wake up with a concussion. You will probably feel fine in a few days, maybe a few weeks if the damage is bad enough. But the effects of a concussion linger, and if you happen to be the kind of guy who gets his head whacked around a lot, the cumulative effects of multiple concussions can lead to personality disorders, dementia, or even death. One way to prevent all of this misery is to protect your head by not allowing it to be used repeatedly as a punching bag by an aggressive troll. I felt that this would be a good lesson for me to learn some day. I had the feeling, though, that today wasn’t going to be the day.

Oddly enough, a blow that’s hard enough to knock you out doesn’t hurt. Pain occurs in the brain, and an unconscious brain doesn’t register pain. I felt Stonehammer’s fist when it hit my chin. It hurt like a son of a bitch. But the blow to my chin knocked me down, not out. What knocked me out was the ground slamming into my face. I didn’t feel any pain when the ground hit my face. I should have felt it when I woke up, because of the resulting concussion. But I didn’t, and I wondered why.

When I regained consciousness, I found myself sitting in a metal chair with my hands cuffed behind my back and my feet tied to the legs of the chair. My chin was slumped down to my chest and my jaw was swollen like a balloon. But I didn’t hurt. Not in my head, not anywhere. My whole body was numb. My first thought was that I was paralyzed, but a quick check revealed that I could move my fingers and toes with only a normal amount of effort. I could have moved my arms and legs if they hadn’t been restrained.

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