A Reason to See You Again by Attenberg Jami

Author:Attenberg,Jami
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ecco
Published: 2024-09-24T00:00:00+00:00

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollinsPublishers

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Chapter 10

1995

They had a good time there for a few years, Frieda and Ray, a man she met in line at the grocery while they were both pie-eyed, their carts filled with snacks. “The most successful love affair of my life,” he told her. “No muss, no fuss.” They both liked vodka. One big bottle to share. The daytime hours were passed at his home, on the back patio, a sliding glass door to the kitchen behind them, where the bottles and the mixers and the ice sat, ten tall palm trees in front of them. Naked most days, shielded from his neighbor’s eyes by the shrubbery, dousing themselves in bug spray, drinking vodka tonics, and letting it all hang out. He told her every morning she was beautiful and sexy, and she nearly believed him. After the stock market had closed for the day and he had made his last call, they went to the bar at sunset. There, he was a good-time guy and she was quiet, by his side. A beat-up middle-aged lady, funny if you got her talking, clever, even. Willing to put up with her man bragging about his financial success and world travel even though he always seemed to be in Florida and nowhere else. He tipped well, she nodded at his jokes. She was pliable and easy at that point in her life. The anger wrung out of her. How had she survived the past? But she had. He made sure she was taken care of. Drunks, but they functioned. They were both alive and dead at the same time. In this way they worked.

But he passed out earlier than her, leaving her alone to be manipulated by her demons. What kind of mother she had been. What had happened to her life? Would her daughters ever forgive her? How did she end up in this house? This was a home, but not hers. She could have used more company at times like that. Once in a while, she smacked him awake. “Frieda, what do you want? Woman, leave me be,” he said. What good would it do if they both stayed up late? But what was the point of being with this person, going all in like this, if he wouldn’t sit with her through the hard times? Still, in the mornings they held each other, laughing about their bad breath, sipping their Bloody Marys to start the day, and then they were close again.

She moved in with him after a few months. She needed a place to stay that was stable: that they could both agree upon. She had bad credit and had been fired from too many jobs. Now, when she worked, it was as a home aide for one of the worst agencies in South Florida, making a pittance, a temp for hire, often walking into desperate situations, clients who had been given up on by other aides. Sometimes it felt dangerous. Should she stay in

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